This article was written by Louis Carter.

On January 5, 2021, The National Institute of Mental Health released an extensive study of suicide in the United States. The day after thousands attacked the US Capitol pursuing an agenda of violence threatening harm to the nation’s Congressional leaders and Vice President of the United States. In the week following, two Washington, DC police officers killed themselves.

Out of respect for the officers’ families, details of their deaths did not make the news. However, this combination of events holds signs and symptoms of a too common choice to die. Suicide remains the tenth highest cause of death, and the tragedy therein deserves diagnosis and prognosis. How can we step in to help those on the path to self-destruction?

Primary disclaimer

Trained psychiatrists, suicide specialists, and psychologists offer some help. Hotlines do wonders. Suicide Hotlines are available 24/7, so everyone should have their number on speed dial.

Important disclaimer!! Readers thinking about committing suicide or self-harm must reach out in the following ways and stop reading immediately!

Call the National Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255, and they will help without any judgment.

Call en español: 1-888-628-9454.

Deaf and hard of hearing should dial 711, then 1-800-273-8255.

Text HOME to 741741.

A personal role

Two of my good friends committed suicide, one a college freshman and the other in his forties. Every day, I think about how I might have helped them to seek other options. I know, too, that it may have been beyond my control.

As an educated and experienced social psychologist, I think with my “big muscled” brain. I say to myself, “I can do it! I will help them through it, and then they will be fine.” But that is my hubris at its worst! Anyone who has considered suicide or the family and friends of anyone who shows signs of self-destruction needs some deeper and longer-term help.

Agonizing over the death of my good friend, I wish I had listened to him more. Since then, I accept calls from any friend, wanting to be there for them. As a counseling professional, I know that I am not the trained suicide professional they need to make more significant behavioral changes.

My work often involved people under stress and challenged by complex and high-impact leadership decisions. They sometimes find their position tenuous. Multiple pressures may tax their emotions and distort their options. My main objective is to get them to agree to get professional help immediately.

To get there, I urge the person to picture their mind as a kingdom, protected by a moat full of alligators and other predators. Thousands of knights and an invisible force field also secure the kingdom. There is no way in!

I tell them, “When you have thought about suicide, realize that you are well protected. Your mind is protected. You are safe. You are loved. You are wise.” In my experience, they have always responded with a sigh of relief. These statements are factual, indisputable even for those without anyone in their life. Humans love instinctively. People who understand this are wise. And people are safe once they understand their power to care about themselves. It is all possible!

Suicide is too much with us!

Let me step back and look at the big picture framed by alarming statistics:

• According to the Pan American Health Organization, “premature deaths from suicide” is the second leading cause of death “among 15–29-year-olds” in the Americas (Suicide Prevention, 2021).
• The American Society for Suicide Prevention reports: “12 million Americans have serious thoughts of suicide. 1.379 million Americans attempted suicide. 54% of Americans have been affected by suicide in some way” (Suicide Data: United States, 2021).
• The NIMH announced figures for 2018 at “Among females, the suicide rate was highest for those aged 45-64 (10.2 per 100,000). Among males, the suicide rate was highest for those aged 75 and older (39.9 per 100,000)” (Suicide, 2021).
• More to date, Johns Hopkins sees a correlation between an increased rate of suicide and the spread of COVID-19, a move from 10.4 to 14.5 per 100,000 (Liang & Nestadt, 2021).

Suicide is too much with us. Pressed by pandemic lockdowns, repeated social injustice issues, and radicalized politics, more people feel empty, lonely, hopeless, sad, angry, and agitated. Sadly, family, friends, co-workers, and healthcare providers miss signs of their concern:

• Self-imposed or social isolation
• Early attempts at suicide or self-harm
• Chronic anxiety or depression
• Aggressive or bipolar patterns
• Repeated job losses and financial pressures
• Criminal and legal problems
• Loss of a loved one or divorce
• Prolonged or terminal illness
• Substance dependency

Sadly, while such factors may profile someone inclined to suicide, they do not predict it. So, it is difficult to prevent or solve the problem. Nonetheless, such behaviors need our attention, especially when people start giving away things, pursuing high-risk activities, bidding farewell to others, or drinking more and using drugs.

Pressed by pandemic lockdowns, repeated social injustice issues, and radicalized politics, more people feel empty, lonely, hopeless, sad, angry, and agitated.

As I review relationships with those in my experience, I have listed some actions we can all pursue:

• Listen and Question: Suicidal ideation calls for understanding, listening to what makes them feel so bad, what makes them feel better, and what will help.
• Help! Don’t judge: Nothing is gained by telling people the obvious. They cannot imagine how things could be worse or that they have reasons to live. However, we can offer help or direction without judgment.
• Access and Delivery: People must accept their problems and risks. Beyond that, we can connect them with the trained professionals or programs with positive track records in addressing suicide ideation, prevention, and post-prevention.
• Financial and Family Security: Most of us are not positioned to solve the individual financial problems that threaten many. However, there are services focused on supporting people and guiding them to financial solutions.
• Cope and Solve: If we listen, we can uncover root causes in frustration. People often just do not know where to go or what to do. We can remove some barriers easily, but they may need a referral to behavioral training programs.
• Connect and Love: Lockdowns distance us; they reduce emotional connectedness to virtual meetings. It is their nature to separate us when human hugs should be the norm. Sometimes, it may be worth the risk to reach out and connect. Safety lies in community and shared missions, and support groups can extend the journey to resilience.

Get Help Now!

CVS CEO Karen Lynch explains how patients have been "collateral damage" in the pandemic. CVS has seen a telepsychiatry increasing 400-fold, and expects it to continue to increase exponentially. Reaching out for help is essential - and there are so many outlets to get there. There are numerous outlets for telepsychiatry today. Google the term “telepsychiatry” and you will find many. CVS, Teledoc, Plushcare, and Brightside all provide telepsychiatry.

I still struggle with what I could have done or should have done to save my friends. Experience, research, and the realities of the past year tell me differently.

Statistics report an increase in suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, and death by suicide. I can improve my awareness of behaviors correlating to suicide, but I can not end them alone. However, we can listen carefully to those for whom we care. We can help remove barriers to their stability, and we can remove instruments of harm.

Such people need specialized attention and care, some of it medical, psychiatric, and social. We can all be ready to identify and reference hotlines, peer support, financial resources, and faith communities.

Given my psychology and counseling background, I have increased my contacts in medical care and mental health expertise. I have come to respect available resources and research their contact numbers, addresses, hours, and insurance requirements. I know the employee assistance benefits provided by employers. And I know how to cut red tape. These are steps I recommend to anyone having contact with troubled, depressed, or isolated people.

However, I have also learned that one well-meaning person is not the solution. We can learn to recognize signs, open people up, and communicate effectively. We can understand and support, empathizing with their struggle and connecting emotionally. Beyond that, we must connect the friend with those trained and able to comfort and restore. My company Most Loved Workplace, helps companies start from a place of love for their employees, creating a more inclusive, caring environment. Watch my video on how to become a Most Loved Workplace and see how you too can develop an environment of caring and emotional connectedness in a time of suicide.

Louis Carter, MA, Social/Organizational Psychology is the author of In Great Company, CEO of Best Practice Institute, and founder of Most Loved Workplace. He holds a podcast on Newsweek called Most Loved Leaders with Louis Carter.

Works Cited

Liang, A., & Nestadt, P. (2021, February 13). Suicide Risk in the COVID-19 Pandemic. Retrieved from Johns Hopkins Medicine: https://www.hopkinsguides.com/hopkins/view/Johns_Hopkins_Psychiatry_Guide/787393/all/Suicide_Risk_in_the_COVID_19_Pandemic

Suicide. (2021, January 5). Retrieved from National Institute of Mental Health: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide.shtml#:~:text=During%20that%2020%2Dyear%20period,females%20(6.2%20per%20100%2C000)

Suicide Data: United States. (2021). Retrieved from American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: https://www.datocms-assets.com/12810/1615917230-14155afspnationalfactsheet2021m1.pdf

Suicide Prevention. (2021). Retrieved from Pan American Health Organization: https://www.paho.org/en/topics/suicide-prevention