Forget about the 21-day myth to make a change in your life. A recent study from London College suggests that it takes 66 days to make a change in your life. Hence, you can be your better self by working daily on yourself in the next quarter.

Let me emphasize one fact, though.

That is an average time to make a meaningful change and should not be generalized for everything because the nature of what we want to change may require a longer time. For example, a change related to post-trauma syndrome may take years, while a simple habitual change may require several weeks.

First of all, you need a future state analysis or a target to help you make your quantum leap. You just have to know what you want to be and act upon it. A role model, an ideal, a guru, a remarkable person, a set of values, or a mission statement is a good starting point. Think of it as your North Star.

OK. I will not keep you wondering about the 13 game-changing habits of mentally strong people. Here we go.

1. They do not lose time worrying about themselves because they know it will not help them realize the change they want. Worry, anxiety, fear, and doubt are nothing but the perfect ingredients of failure and downgrading yourself. Successful people prefer to think positively and get hold of their strong emotions. They put purpose ahead of their emotions.
2. They do not live other`s life. Instead, they are intensely conscious of what they want to achieve in life and know their purpose. They live their own lives and go after their dreams. That keeps them on track, enabling them to pursue the avenues they want and say NO to what they do not want.
3. They do not hesitate to make a change in their lives. Instead, they conquer their fears and take the necessary steps to become a change agent. They are strong enough to take the first step. Pain and suffering do not stop them from moving forward. Knowing that life holds both good and evil, beautiful and ugly, fair and unfair, they do not reject the obstacles, preventions, barriers, toxic people and events, but instead, embrace them and go around them. They act like water.
4. They do not focus on things they cannot control. Instead, they focus on their strengths, inner resources and try to work on things within their span of control.
5. They are not afraid of taking risks. Once they set a goal, they take the necessary steps with courage and manage their fear, unlike many others who become victims of their doubts, fears, and anxieties.
6. They do not get stuck with the past but look to the future. Knowing it is impossible to change the past and the pain of living with regret, they value the power of now. It helps them do their best and shape the future.
7. They do not repeat their mistakes. Instead, they learn from their mistakes and use them as leverage to make improvements. They know that there are no mistakes but only learning in life.
8. They do not envy others’ successes. Instead, they are the first to celebrate, support, aid, and help them do better. Everyone in life acts as a role model to learn something from. Thus, they watch others as a lifelong learner and let everyone become a teacher for them.
9. They do not accept failure and choose not to quit. Failure is a part of life and helps as a means of learning. This way, they do not fall into the trap of being victims of their failures and the negative emotions that come with them.
10. They are not uncomfortable or fearful of being alone. Life is a vast cosmic theater consisting of many impermanent forms and shapes. This impermanent nature of life and the universe tells them that everything changes in life and that everyone around them will and may change through time. Knowing that nothing stays the same, they are strong enough to stay calm in the eye of the perfect storm.
11. They do not try to please everyone in life. Instead, they do act with integrity, be themselves, and do the right thing at all times, no matter who tells what.
12. They do not think that people and life owe something to them. Instead, they serve others unconditionally and focus on sharing and giving.
13. They do not do things to benefit from something or to get any returns. Instead, they act without conditions, expectations.

The list above or any other similar list requires a positive, nonattached, and strong mind. Otherwise, the person will be a victim of life events and not be able to move forward or surf through the tough waters.

Embrace them and get ready to be your better self.

With love,

Kenan

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