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3 Things That Can Make Someone Lose Interest In You

Become someone to be looked up to not someone who's always bothering people with their problems. Your friends will value you and your partner will be proud of you.


Joshua Idegbere

4 months ago | 4 min read


And what to do about it

Be there for the people who love you and can take a bullet for you. They deserve it all|PEXEL

Maintaining relationships is no child’s play. But it is an important life skill anyone can develop.


Because relationships are the sources of opportunities and great fortunes ( that’s if you keep the right ones.)

But then, if you don’t know how to keep these people in your life, you will lose them. And some of those people could be very difficult to replace.

Even if we have never met, I believe that there are certain people and relationships you want to keep in your life. This includes, among several others,

  • the people you can count on any day, any time, and in whatever situation;
  • the ones that love you for who you are and can’t let a day pass without asking you how your day went.

These are people you really desire to share your life with them till the end of time. And the truth is, it is important to learn how to keep those relationships and people in your life.

To that end, we shall consider a few things that could make such persons lose interest in us. And then progress to also consider what to do to make them stay and satisfied with the relationship.

I hope that will be worth your time, wouldn’t it?


Let's begin with this:

1. You’re a “taker” in the relationship; nothing more.

Nothing is free.
To whom much is given, much is expected.

Everyone has a need.
Irrespective of who they are.

As far as they're humans, they have some unmet needs which they hope someone can help them meet. That is the basis for human relationships: to stay together so we can help and complement one another.

As they meet your needs, they expect you to meet theirs too.

If not, an imbalance results.

The relationship will become one-sided and heavy on the giver. Soon, they will get worn out and assume an indifferent stance or even leave for another person/ partner.

Be a contributor.

Look for unmet needs in your relationships. It could be anything: financial, emotional, domestic, and what have you. Make sure it is important to them.

Then swing into action to meet those needs as much as you can.

The result?

It will solidify your relationship or friendship with those people. They will be more interested and satisfied having you in their lives. That way, securing the longevity of that relationship.

2. You’re a “fair-weather” friend

Loyal friends don’t let you alone when you need them the most.

And so your friendship is seasonal.

You were all around them when they were the bank manager of Zenith Bank, International. You went out for dinner together. You hang out and do a lot of stuff together.

But then things turned south. They lost their job. And still yet to land any months later.

Now you're not having time for them. You make promises to come to see them you don’t fulfill.

It means is you're not dependable. And they can't count on you.

And nobody wants such persons in their lives. That's not the kind of person to keep as a friend when eventually things get better.

Friendship is for both good and bad times.

Leaving someone's life because they're facing life challenges only shows you're not true and cannot be trusted. And that can make people lose interest in you. There's nothing interesting discovering that your friend is a fair-weather person. It is heartbreaking.

Be an “all-weather” friend.

Be there for the people who love you and can take a bullet for you. They deserve it.

When things are bad, be there; when things are good, be there. Only a few things are as heartwarming as realizing you have a loyal friend who won't leave your life no matter what.


3. You’re becoming a stressor in their life

It is easy to run a relationship when everyone pulls their weight.

If you think you’re the only one who desires a stress-free life then you’re mistaken. Everyone desires it. Just like you, they wouldn’t like it when someone becomes a stressor in any aspect of their life.

There’s a lady I am gradually getting to dislike.

We've been friends for months. But then upon noticing an improvement in my current financial status, she keeps coming with financial needs nonstop.

Before now I look forward to calling to hear from her. At other times, we chat at length.

But now, I don't look forward to those things anymore. Sometimes I ignore her WhatsApp messages because I might find another financial need she wants me to meet. It is hard to say no sometimes because of the nature of our relationship.

Now I'm getting fed up.
She's stressing me financially. And it has forced me to dislike her little by little.

Learn to pull your own weight.

It doesn't matter whether it is a romantic or platonic relationship, learn to pull your own weight.

Bothering people with your responsibility is not always a wise thing to do if you want to keep your relationship with them.

Even if you want some help, it should not be all the time. Challenge yourself to be self-reliant. Become someone to be looked up to not someone who's always bothering people with their problems. Your friends will value you and your partner will be proud of you.

It is achievable.
Work towards it.

Thanks for your time, friend.
See you soon.


Created by

Joshua Idegbere


I am Joshua Idegbere and this is my column. Stories with actionable tips to help you make the most of your life, career and relationships. Welcome!







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