When we are starting out our career as a blogger or writer everybody comes up trying to give us a large list of advice. They are just trying to help us to get out of any lifting situation at that stage.

They are trying to be nice with us, expressing their story to cause influences on us, encourage and give us a sense of power to get out of it.

I fully recognize that giving advice is one of the most powerful ways to save people’s time, to help them step away from the same mistakes as the adviser did. That’s powerful!.

However, there’s a problem with some advice they are giving us at this special stage — the beginning.

They are advising us about a few things that they were not able to get through. So, how can you advise about something you weren’t to? Why do you expect I will hack the process’s nature by giving that sort of advice?

Throughout this post, I would like to express my thoughts on why any writer or blogger should stop advising us about something they didn’t do, especially at the beginning of their careers. Or even worse to give us another piece of advice about something they read but they have never experienced it.

The beginning stage as a writer and blogger

Everybody knows perfectly that when you start something new, no matter what you are starting out — how to code, how to cook, how to become a writer, how to become an entrepreneur, a podcaster, a Youtuber there will always be a list of different feelings and emotions we are going to experience with. All of them sending you at square zero.

I am talking about anxiety, overthinking, self-doubts, frustration, rejections, disappointments, guilt, and a few things more just to mention a few of them.

Don’t confuse yourself. Most of the top writers or bloggers felt and fell into them more than once. Therefore, they made the same mistakes we make while we are starting out on this amazing journey.

Kindly, stop advising on the next points

So let me point out what piece of advice you should stop giving us since I am 99% sure you made them as well.

Stop constantly checking your Medium stats

Probably this is the most common advice here on Medium. Whenever you start to write seriously on Medium, everybody’s advice is to stop constantly refreshing your Medium stats and write for the sake of the writing process. Did you?

You should only take a peek at your results once a day or once a week — people advise you. However, I would like to ask them, were you able to avoid it at the beginning stage? I don’t think so. Let me give you the reasons why.

More than one time, while I have been reading my favorite author’s pieces I’ve come across pieces of advice from them talking about the mistakes they made at the beginning. One of the most common is anxiety to constantly refresh their stats and see if their pieces have been traction or not after their publishing.

The funny thing, on the other hand, is the fact that in other pieces, I have come across the headline and core of them encouraging and advising you to avoid doing that thing constantly, which it’s exactly the opposite of what they did.

Avoid anxiety to constantly check your blog stats

This advice tries to achieve the same goal as the previous one. The difference is that in this case, it is about your website or personal blog.

No matter how much they tell you that probably only your closest friends and family will read your pieces. Certainly, there’s always a little voice in you that gives you hope and the expectations that a hundred or thousand of readers will eat your piece.

By doing that kind of thinking, you are creating a perfect tale on your head. Therefore, you are falling into the anxiety to constantly view your stats.

So, how someone can advise you to avoid it when your mind is filled with a great story?. The truth is that at this early stage it is impossible to avoid it, there’s little war in your head, you’re fighting something not worthwhile. The interesting thing here is the fact that people advise which they weren’t able to, though.

Tip: I do it. However, I try to do it fewer times than yesterday, a week or a month back

Avoid refreshing your email waiting for a positive reply after sending several proposals

I had the belief that I was the only guy who was refreshing his email looking at it waiting for a positive reply after sending several proposals. Waiting for something that may happen or not.

The truth is that many of us, even, the most experienced writers or bloggers did the same thing, at least at that beginning. So stop believing that the anxiety to constantly check their emails isn’t a normal behavior.

As human beings our hopes are only a positive response is the only one we think will happen, there’s no other option for us.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking that way. Indeed, one day while reading a piece from a top author I realized that was part of his initial steps. He used to press the refresh button craving a positive reply from the publication he had sent proposals to, he did while even driving.

If you are like me you know that taking control of it is not a piece of cake. Additionally, it also depends on different factors — anxiety might be different for someone who doesn’t have a job than those who do. Anyway, in a future article, we will discuss it.

By giving those pieces of advice you are provoking these next things.

Please don’t make me feel guilty

Please stop making me feel guilty. Eventually, this stage will be over after some time, it’s the same road others already walked. It’s just a stair of the ladder. Comfort my soul. Let me feel the same feeling you felt at the same stage. Don’t only count your story, but also let me count myself after some time.

Don’t force the process flow

Don’t force the process’ flow in a different direction than its own direction. I’ve learned and proved that we need to be covered by the process and move forward upon it. You need to do that way to have something to be counted as a story, part of your success.

Later than sooner you’ll have clarity and enjoy the inner peace you have because you don’t feel guilty.

Ending Thoughts

At the early stage, we certainly appreciate any advice that comes from an expert who already got through that stage. But there is a problem when you advise something you didn’t do and of course, mistakes are not as bad as they sound.

Let the process flow by its own nature. Eventually, as we continue writing and going in love with the process we will focus on things that really matter.

Thanks for reading, I would like to know your thoughts.

This article was originally published on medium.