These 4 Truths Are Preventing You From Having The Life You Want

Getting clarity on what you want is essential.


Elijah Corless

3 years ago | 5 min read

Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash
Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash

“Facts are stubborn things.” — John Adams

Consciously creating your life is the single biggest gift you can give yourself.

Unfortunately, most people are trapped, “paralyzed,” and won’t act on what they know will make the difference. Or, they try a million different things, without actually knowing what they want.

Getting clarity on what you want is essential.

You have to go deeper. “Some effort” is simply not enough.

You have to play FULL out.

Leave nothing behind.

Give it everything.

These are the things PREVENTING you from giving it everything. This will be short but to the point.

To have it all, you must give it you're all.

1. You Probably Know The Next Step But Haven’t Taken It

“There’s so much information on the internet. But people don’t need more information, they need ‘aha moments,’ they need awareness, they need things that actually shift and change them.” — Jack Canfield

You probably know at least one thing you want.

More money, more time, better family, more fit, yes, we’ve heard it all.

So why aren’t you already at the top?

Two things are preventing you from getting there:

  1. Internal. Fear. Trauma. Somebody told you you can’t. Last time you tried, they made fun of you. You don’t know for sure if taking the leap will work or not. You’re scared to look like an idiot.
  2. External. You simply haven’t made it automatic. You can’t implement new ways of behavior without a trigger, a pre-frame, to force you to do that thing. Instead of waiting for time to add something new (that never happens), make time. Religiously cut off alternative routes. You have appointments with yourself to finish your goal, to work on your craft. Plan your day. Make it automatic.

2. You’re Not Willing To Apply New Skills Differently.

Arrogance Prevents Learning.

“Lateral Learning” is the ability to transport vast amounts of information and mastery in one field and apply it to another.

This is the psychological principle behind well-known stars in their career who suddenly drastically change tracks, but still become highly successful.

This is how Josh Waitzkin became both a master at chess and then Tai Chi.

This is how successful athletes apply the same mental toughness principles from sports to create successful companies.

People with this power of jumping between ladders astonish others.

Others are left wondering, “how did he/she do that?”

What’s holding you back from learning this way?


Bill Gates, one of the most successful men alive, said:

“Success is a lousy teacher.”

When you’ve succeeded in one field, you think you know it all. This feeling may even be subconscious, so you don’t even recognize your own arrogance.

This prevents you from applying so many good ideas to new fields.

If you’re still struggling at something, you haven’t gotten rid of your pride. You haven’t applied your skills properly to get a result, while still recognizing the new information and skills you need.

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You just have to re-use it.

As an example, I have successfully started and run multiple offline businesses. When I started trying to learn the online game several years ago, I didn’t fully accept that I didn’t know everything.

I started reading books and following various “gurus,” but was unwilling to invest in myself to grow. I dug into lots of free (and relatively useless) information because I didn’t have the humility to recognize that I could apply existing knowledge and combine it with new knowledge in the right way.

I didn’t get help where I needed it.

I tried to do it all on my own.

Things changed when I made different mental shifts. When I became willing to humble myself and transport information.

Adapt your old experiences to provide leverage for the new. Don’t copy them, and don’t ignore them. Both these paths lead to frustration.

Humbly recognize where you can make powerful connections.

3. You Haven’t Paid The Price

“Nature cannot be tricked or cheated. She will give up to you the object of your struggles only after you have paid her price.” — Napoleon Hill

When you declare a large goal, a massive vision, you instantly open the opportunity for large failure.

You’ve created all the obstacles that now stand in your way.

Most people hate looking at all those ugly obstacles.

This is why they play smaller.

Most people would rather hedge their bets.

Play it safe. Go small.

Don’t fall on your face. Don’t mess up. Don’t look stupid.

After all, our educational system routinely teaches this. We teach students to fit in as children and are surprised when they don’t “stand out” as adults.

To those of you in this dilemma, consider this:

Is avoiding your goal really successful?

Is procrastination really bringing you the joy and happiness you want?

Which is the greater failure? To have played full-out and come short, or to have never even tried?

Were you the man IN THE ARENA, as Teddy Roosevelt would say?

Not trying is the worst form of failure, because unlike failure from playing full-out, you can’t recoup any lessons from the experience.

Instead, you’re frozen, stuck, psychologically halted.

You can’t run from your dreams. They’re there. You know what you must do.

But you’re scared to commit to getting that result.

That would involve lots of change, growth, uncertainty, failure, and frustration along the way.

You can’t get anything unless you’re invested.

Go full-out. The way you put all the cards on the table is by opening up the possibility, for yes, completely utterly failing.

You’re highly psychologically flexible and unfazed to do this.

You simply reach so much that the possibility of failure, although very real, doesn’t dominate your thoughts.

You’re so focused on where you’re going, everything else is irrelevant.

4. You Haven’t Removed EVERYTHING That Is Not A Result.

“When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” — Ken Blanchard

Richie Norton, a world-class business coach, and author, repeatedly tells entrepreneurs and wannabe entrepreneurs 1 simple thing.

The ONLY thing that matters for your (book/course/podcast/article/anything) is that it gets [your clients] results.

That’s it!

This frees you from needing perfect software, training, experience, degrees, logos, and other fancy crap that most people use, to their detriment.

Can you get a result?

That’s it.

When you choose to live in the results economy, you embrace a new playing field.

You’re not tied down by irrelevant things.

You’re not going to fall for the lie of sunk-cost bias.

If something doesn’t work, you realize it, fix it, and move on.

You’re not trapped in the necessity to checkboxes.

All you care about is learning, doing, becoming.

The results are specific. They make no excuses. They don’t care if you spent hundreds of hours…because clearly that was the wrong thing.

Results simply demand an outcome.

Holding yourself to the standard of results is powerful and vulnerable.

But worth it. You experience the true taste of victory, not simply an intellectual understanding of events.

Conclusion: How Badly Do You Want It?

Going back to the “glory days” is not only impossible but will unlikely serve you.

As Scott Hamilton says, “nostalgia is dangerous.” It prevents you from reaching higher and truly becoming the person you could become.

Be aware of yourself. Examine what needs to change. Embrace these truths you may have heard before, but didn’t implement.

Where will you be?

This article was originally published on If you have any questions, feel free to reach out at


Created by

Elijah Corless

Elijah Corless is a prolific writer, reader of many, many, books, and a marketing coach. You can find his work, most frequently on Medium and other major business/news outlets, on creativity, marketing, personal growth, and the future of business.







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