5 Tips for Feeling Comfortable on A First Date

The key to having a successful first date, is to present yourself as comfortable and put your date at ease.


Dennise Heckman

a year ago | 2 min read

You know the drill. Days, perhaps weeks or even months havegone by, and you haven’t met in person yet. You’ve been messaging back andforth on a social platform or dating app, and so far, it seems that you have aton in common. You share the same values and have similar goals.

Now, the time and place have been set. A real date.

You shower, dress intentionally and get yourself out thefront door.

The moment finally arrives. You meet face to face.

But ten minutes into the date you just know deep down inyour gut, you…blew it.


The awkwardness of a first date is real.

Suddenly the lights in the restaurant seem too bright. Youfeel that familiar flush cross your face. There seems to be nothing to talkabout, even though online you couldn’t stop chatting.

You feel desperate to get up from the dinner table and flee.

But you don’t. You like this person and know there is a connection.

Technology has created a physical barrier for those of usthat want it and those of us that don’t. Social platforms and dating appsprovide us with a safety shield, permitting us to be the mysterious personbehind the screen. To feel comfortable in person with someone, you need tocreate a relaxed feeling at first sight. The key is to portray yourself ascomfortable, even if you aren’t. You heard the phrase, “Fake it till you makeit.” By portraying yourself as at ease, you spread comfort to your date.Feeling relaxed is contagious and your date will sense your openness.

Here are 5 ways to feel comfortable on a first date:

  1. Make eye contact. Eyes contact is a sure way to build a connection and allowing your gaze to linger will demonstrate patience and sincerity.
  2. Smile often. Smiling has the effect of physically relaxing us and putting our mind at ease. So, not only will you feel better smiling on your first date, but your date will interpret your smile as happiness and confidence.
  3. Don’t turn the date into an interview. Instead of relying on the old and overused questions about career and education status, ask your date to share their opinion on a topic related to your date. Say, “What do you recommend on the menu?” or “Do you like this part of the city?”
  4. Be conscience of your speech pace and volume. Speaking loudly or quickly could cause your date to feel anxious.  Try to talk slow and low.
  5. Laugh occasionally. I’m not saying to turn yourself into a hyena. But, chuckling occasionally will lighten the mood and lift tensions.
To warm up, try sprinkling these 5 tips into your everydayinteractions with friends and family prior to your big date. Before you know it, you’ll be on your second date.






Created by

Dennise Heckman

Background Dennise Heckman has been teaching & coaching since 1996. She majored in illustration at the Savannah College of Art & Design & holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) from Kutztown University of Pennsylvania (2003). She has a Permanent Teachers Certification in Art Education K-12 (1996). After teaching English As A Second Language for many years, she now holds a 120 Hour TEFL certification in ESL (2018). She studied acting at Wiest Barron School of Acting in NYC & is a speaker with Innovation Women. Dennise's teaching experience includes public schools in Pennsylvania, global online platforms, private institutions, informal settings, summer camps, literacy centers, and even the site where the Wright Brothers took their first flight.







Related Articles