The word question is derived from the Latin’ word quaerere, which means, ‘to ask or search for,’ — very profound as the better part of most people's lives is in the search.

Search for a better job.

Search for a better city.

Search for a better group of friends.

Search for a lover — sometimes a better lover.

Search for the perfect life.

Search for true meaning.

Search for happiness.

Unfortunately, when our search doesn’t yield the results we want, we can either become depressed or discouraged and wind up feeling like a failure or feel unfulfilled.

The essential way to understand ourselves is through continued introspection, especially navigating life.

Introspection is simply examining or observing one’s own mental and emotional processes.

Introspection is essential because, without it, we can go astray. Researchers have shown that we think more than 50,000 thoughts per day, and unfortunately, more than half are negative; in addition, most of those thoughts are repeats from the past — Constant self-chastisement.

Thoughts such as;

I am not good enough.

People are more intelligent than me.

Opportunities are limited for me.

Bad things always happen to me.

Everything always ends up the same.

It’s a waste of time.

I’m not putting myself or content out there because it is not perfect.

Insert your negative talk here: ________________

This self-chastisement is one of the worst parts of being human. Think about it, if someone spoke to you the way you mentally spoke to yourself, you would probably punch them in the face — So why do we do it?

Honestly, that is a topic for another day as the answer can fill many books. But I will say if you don’t take the time or make an effort to refocus your mind through positive introspection, you will lose an opportunity for growth and development.

Introspections give you the chance to ask yourself the right questions. After all, the power of a well-placed question at the right moment will change your life.

When you are ready to receive it, the answer to a well-placed question will change the way you think, and when you change the way you think, you can change the way you act. Which leads to a breakthrough in the way you live your life.

The wisest people in history have always known that no one can make much of their life until introspection has become a regular habit.

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121 A.D — 180 A.D) is a great example of this as his introspections formed what is a classic book called “Meditations.”

Depending on what you “find,” you can admit and accept what it is and correct what is wrong.

There are many questions you can ask, but I find these six are helpful if you want to start your introspection.

1- If nobody knew what you did with the rest of your life, what would you do?

Unfortunately, most people’s fear of judgment is what holds them back — me included. I spent many years not putting out content because I was afraid of criticism.

Most fear stems from the personal belief that “I am not enough” or “I don’t have enough,” which turns into inaction. But unfortunately, that inaction keeps us from becoming better. And we can only become better by being vulnerable.

Without vulnerability, it is hard to grow.

As a kid, I was taught that men shouldn't feel vulnerable as it is a sign of weakness. Such false bravado has caused more issues in men than you can imagine. Thankfully I unlearned that belief as I now know vulnerability is strength.

Vulnerability also is a sign of courage as with it we become more resilient and brave by embracing who we truly are and what we feel.

Also, vulnerability will help us feel secure by allowing us to be our authentic selves instead of trying to please others.

Here is more on vulnerability for an expert on the topic Brene Brown;

So imagine if the weight of others’ judgment was magically removed — what would you do with your days?

2- If you could choose 3 things that matter most to you, what would they be?

If you ask anyone this question, they will more likely respond, “I don’t know.”

But upon introspection, the answer may reveal itself.

Family is essential, a massive part of my life — but not my only part. It wasn’t until last year that I realized what mattered to me for my business and professional life.

For that part of my life, 5 areas are essential

-Time Freedom

-Creativity

-Intellection stimulation/challenge

-No income cap

-Excitement

Besides spending time with my wife and kids, I am happiest when any opportunity involves these five areas. That only came about when I started intentionally writing down what was essential and eliminating or paying less attention to unimportant things.

This question may seem easy but it will take some time, I didn't know until last summer and I am about to turn 40, hopefully, you will know sooner.

So if you need help here are some proactive ways to figure out what’s most important to you;

-Identify the most important people in your life and figure how to enrich those relationships more.

-Ask your family and friends to list your best qualities — then focus in those areas.

-Assess the way you use your time.

-What qualities, skills or talents do you have already? How can you make them more creative?

- What you enjoy doing the most?

-Decide what commitments are most important to you.

-Make time to be alone.

So think about what three things matter to you most. (It doesn’t have to be three; I chose three because it is easier to manage.)

3-What are you grateful for at the current moment?

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” — Oprah Winfrey.

I never understood the benefits of daily gratitude until the last few years. Once I started practicing it regularly, the effects were instant. I don’t write gratitudes every day like I want to, but I write them when I am in a funk, shifting my mindset from self-pity to abundance.

According to a Harvard study on positive psychology, gratitude is associated with greater happiness.

On a practical level, gratitude helps us feel more positive emotions. When we relish the good experiences it leads to improved health and helps us deal with adversity.

Practicing gratitude is a net positive behavior.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears, and abundance appears.” — Anthony Robbins.

4- If social media didn’t exist, what would you do differently?

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Brene Brown.

Sometimes we get in the habit of comparing our lives to someone else’s highlight reel — resulting in feelings of inadequacy.

In the years to come, I believe there will be retreats where you pay a premium to leave your phone so that you can enjoy a brief moment without technology.(Leaving your phone at the front desk when you check-in and collect it back when you leave.)

The phones are a significant part of our lives — acting as another appendage. Unless, of course, you live off the grid.

According to internet trends, The average person checked their phones 262 times per day in 2021. So the phone is always on our person.

Now I am not expecting that to change, but it has gone a bit too far. However, phones are one component, but social media is another.

The benefits of social media are plenty, especially if used productively, but we are humans and are known to exploit technology. so the downsides are:

• Depression and Anxiety.
• Cyberbullying. Trolls
• FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
• Unrealistic Expectations.
• Negative Body Image.
• Unhealthy Sleep Patterns.
• General Addiction.

Here is an interesting animated short video on the subject;

Again social media is not the cause of all our problems; however, it leads to many distractions that may lead to some problems.

Don’t get me wrong, I rather have the phone for its convienience but I do wonder what I would be doing differently right now without it.

It’s funny when I tell my children how lucky they are with technology, as we didn’t have phones as kids — they look at me like I am a dinosaur.

5- If today was your last day on Earth, what would you do differently?

This type of question is more about intention. With 86,400 seconds in a day, it is vital to make our days count as time never replenishes. So what we do with that time affects our lives and the lives of those around us.

There is a common complaint about lack of time; however, the root cause is squandering it on unimportant things.

I am not saying you have to be a productivity machine, but consider the best return on investment for your life. Chances are, a binge-watching show may not be the best choice — Unless you ultimately wanted to do that.

Here is a funny thing, if it were your last day, many things that were important before would get tossed to the side; so the key is figuring out what that will be on a moment-to-moment basis.

I have to admit of all of the questions this one is the hardest because I don’t like putting myself in a deathbed mentality but it does help with focus.

Here is a cool video on the topic;

Also here is Steve Jobs at his famous commencement talking about not wasting your life.

“Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its brevity.” — Jean De La Bruyere

6- How can you invest in yourself today?

Investing in yourself means you are putting time, money, and other resources into bettering your life and future.

Instead of focusing on material things, you look for opportunities and assets that will raise your knowledge and make a colossal life impact.

Investing in yourself comes in many forms, but at the end of the day, whatever will make you a better person is a significant investment.

Here are some ways in which you can invest in yourself;

1. Take responsibility for your life
2. Understand how finance works and make it work for you.
3. Take care of your health. Emotional, physical, and mental.
4. Set goals.
5. Have a growth mindset.
6. Constantly improve your professional skills.
7. Spend time with loved ones often.
8. Help others.
9. Journal.
10. Get Organized and Declutter Your Stuff.
11. Break Your Bad Habits.
12. Treat yourself.
13. Set boundaries.
14. Get rid of toxic people from your life.
15. Drink Water.

The list goes on.

“Be you, love you. All ways, always.”― Alexandra Elle

Conclusion

Another derivation from quaerere is quest — so think of your answers as the quest you must go through in order to accomplish your mission in life.

Always remember these keywords from career coach Ken Coleman;

“Good questions inform and great questions transform”

Thank you for reading — enjoy your quest.