A minor shift in perspective will make all the difference

“Oh, thanks for reminding me — I have someone to fire later on today”, he said with a chuckle.

“Do you enjoy…well I’m sure only psychopaths 'enjoy' firing people, but is it… is it easy for you?” I asked.

“Listen, Jon, I’ve been in a management position for many years. This isn't the first time I've had to do this." He paused. He looked down at his shoes. I could tell he was thinking about what he was going to say next,

"If there’s one thing I’ve learned when it comes to the hiring and firing of people it’s this: I don’t fire anyone — they fire themselves.”

After hearing him say that, I began reflecting on my own experience being let go from a job. The idea that managers don't fire people — people fire themselves instantly crystallized in my brain.

Hearing this man reframe the concept of firing people drastically changed how I viewed that part of life.

Here are 10 other simple concepts that have the potential to drastically improve your quality of life.

Personal growth rapidly accelerates when you realize you are in control of the outcome

Most people believe life happens to them.

They believe that, through serendipitous circumstances, they were born and then life happens around them.

There is a minority subset, however, that even in the face of adversity understand that life happens because of them.

What type of person are you?

Now, before you throw your mouse at your computer screen in a fit of rage — let me level with you, I completely understand there are things outside of one’s control: you cannot choose who your parents are, you cannot choose where you’re born, you cannot choose your genetic makeup (at least not yet…).

People who are constantly growing don’t try to change the things they cannot control. Instead, they work with the cards they were dealt and triumph — despite the obstacles.

This isn’t a radical concept. Psychological circles have outlined the idea of locus of control many years ago. The idea is simple:

• Is life an entity of forces outside of your control?
• Or is life happening because of your decisions and actions?

People who subscribe to an “internal” locus of control understand that life happens because of their true power and influence.

Saying “no” to things unattractive to you will get you more respect than “yes”

What's the most reported regret for individuals on their deathbed?

Living a life that was true to themselves — not what others expected of them.

In my mid-twenties, I dated someone (for over a year) because one of my friends said he thought we’d make a good fit. Every time I was around this girl, I got bad vibes from her. She was on a colorful cocktail of anti-anxiety medication and anti-psychotics and that just wasn’t my bag, baby.

I knew our hierarchy of values wasn’t in line.

I knew that what we wanted in terms of family life and career goals didn’t mesh well. But I still said “yes” because I wanted to fit in and feel like I belonged.

While I don’t regret those 12 months with that woman — I look back and see how much potential for personal growth and resilience was squandered just because I was looking for the respect and admiration of a peer.

This, of course, has taken form in other areas of my life as well:

• Going to a certain university and studying a particular curriculum because I was told, "that's the smart thing to do."
• Not asking certain women out because my friends convinced me not to (even though my gut told me otherwise).
• Not sharing my beliefs in public because of fear of being ostracized.

You don’t have to say yes to everyone around you to feel respected. In fact, the more you set boundaries and exemplify what you’re for — the more respect you’ll earn from the people around you.

“Make sure your oxygen mask is securely fastened before helping others”

My former college roommate has a knack for identifying the obstacles holding back his peers.

I wish I knew how he did it: We'd have a million-dollar coaching business.

Legit.

The only problem is, while he’s great at identifying the obstacles and potential pitfalls in others — his track record of actually seeing these people to overcoming these obstacles is practically null. I wish I was exaggerating.

Now, I’ve thought long and hard as to why he isn’t able to make a true impact with these people even though he’s able to see what’s holding them back (he even pointed out, on a door-to-door sales call that the prospect’s wife was cheating on him within an hour of meeting).

Over the years, my suspicions as to why he hasn’t been able to make real change are:

• He’s not a formally trained therapist
• He’s still young
• He’s a bit harsh when he tells the truth

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized the biggest reason he’s not able to make the impact with others that he’s looking for.

His life is completely out of whack (even though he does a great job hiding it).

• His room, house, and finances are in complete disarray
• He can never see a project through (due to lack of focus and discipline)
• He has past trauma he hasn’t dealt with

In other words — he focuses on the problems of others to repress and distract himself from the problems he needs to deal with.

How can you help others when your life is in disarray?

When a plane loses cabin pressure, the main goal is to make sure you have access to clean oxygen so you don’t pass out. The same goes for other areas in life.

You can cut 8 hours of work into 3 if you learn to focus

Parkinson’s Law dictates that,

“Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.”

This is great when you’re working a soul-sucking job and you’re waiting for the clock to strike 5 pm. Trust me — I know well as you do that when you're feeling disengaged, it's not too difficult to extend the time amount of time to completion on a project so you don't get saddled with extra work.

But what about if you’re building a side-hustle and trying to escape that draining day job? What about if you're trying to grow and build your life in other areas but time is of the essence?

Focus, intent, and discipline will be your holy trinity.

“Stop being patient and start asking yourself, how do I accomplish my 10 years plan in 6 months? You will probably fail but you will be lot further ahead of the person who simply accepted it was going to take 10 years.”

— Elon Musk

Here’s a quick list of how to level up your ability to focus:

1. Turn off all notifications on your phone (you dictate when you look at the apps on your phone)
2. Put your phone in another room when you’re working
3. Turn off your wi-fi when writing the first draft of your article (you can always add corroborating links/evidence during the editing phase later on)
4. Create an “artificial” time constraint on your creativity. When I was side-hustling, I knew I had to complete my project before going to work in the restaurant (other ways are not bringing a power cord for your laptop, going to a cafe that closes early, etc.)

“Get rich quick” schemes do exist (when you alter your definition of “quick”)

While life is the longest thing you do — it happens in a flash…

Think about it:

• Uncle Rona and the pandemic started two years ago now.
• Your four college years came and went in a flash
• Your child is already seven years old
• You’re already staring down retirement.

Your current life situation might feel drab and dull. It can feel like you’re on an ever-rotating hamster wheel stuck in limbo. Every day is a routine of the same rigmarole…

We all want immediate change. We want to start our online business and have the income replace our day job in a manner of weeks. We all want to lose weight and sculpt the body of our dreams. We all want to careen up the career ladder and secure our dream job.

Life doesn’t happen like that.

What if, however, during the aforementioned daily rigmarole, we added one quiet and tiny routine that had the impact of radically changing our lives over the next three years? What would happen?

Years fly by. You know this to be true. You can make drastic changes in your life by implementing and adding small changes into your daily routine.

What if you posted on Tweet every day for three years. What would happen?

If you did that and took 30 minutes a day to learn copywriting, storytelling, psychology, human behavior, and self-improvement and apply those ideas to your tweets, I can damn near promise you — you will “get rich quick” over the span of three short years…

Extreme ownership will always reward more than crying victim

I will always and forever cheer the underdog.

Living in the mid 19th Century is hard. If you have a genetic disorder like asthma, life can almost become unbearable. If you have poor eyesight, fuggedaboutit.

The 26th President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt, was born with the aforementioned afflictions and at a young age and had to bury his firstborn child. On top of that, he:

• Grieved the passing of his parents who died on the same day
• Was wounded in a fistfight at the White House
• Had his political party conspire against his efforts to receive the presidential nomination
• Dropped out of graduate school

Despite all those trials (among others) Roosevelt chose to persevere above all (as opposed to playing the victim). This led to Roosevelt’s various accomplishments:

• The first-ever United States President to win the Nobel Peace Prize
• Modernized the U.S. Navy
• Became Major of NYC, Governor of NY, and US President
• Instrumental in establishing the US National Park system
• Made strides in food and drug regulation in the US

When I read about the paragons of history like Roosevelt, it makes me think first about myself and how I occasionally will hide behind the “victim card.” Furthermore, I think about the ripple effects that has on my future health, wealth, and happiness.

Furthermore, I think about the millions of lives that will never be remembered because the elusive succubus that is victimhood extended her lustful tentacles and suffocated loads of potential from the annals of history.

Fear and courage are two sides of the same coin. Success is achieved by choosing courage more often than fear.

When done right — your self-improvement will piss off a lot of people

When you adopt some of the earlier concepts we’ve talked about.

• People will get upset you’ve chosen yourself over them
• People will try to bring you down to their level
• People will question your loyalty

The silver lining with all this disruption you’re causing is this: when you work on your self-improvement, the people around you show their true identity.

“We’ve been wearing masks long before the pandemic.”

— Ayodeji Awosika

When people reveal their true character to you, a few things happen: you realize who the truly loyal people are and who the toxic leeches are.

The people that leave you will leave you, you may have to grieve the loss. But you know what will happen to the people who stick around? It’s quite remarkable.

Your example will set the foundation for their radical change.

Your actions and commitment to becoming the best version of yourself will act as the North Star guiding light to the others in your life who are looking to make a radical change in their lives.

You might not always overtly see it because life happens in a flash. However, during brief moments and quick glimpses, you’ll have the opportunity to look around and see how much your network has leveled up.

And that will drastically improve your quality of life.

Closing takeaways:

10 simple concepts that will drastically improve your quality of life:

1. Personal growth rapidly accelerates when you realize you are in control of the outcome
2. Saying “no” to things unattractive to you will get you more respect than “yes”
3. “Make sure your oxygen mask is securely fastened before helping others”
4. You can cut 8 hours of work into 3 if you learn to focus
5. “Get rich quick” schemes are real (just change your definition of “quick”)
6. Extreme ownership will always reward more than crying victim
7. When done right — your self-improvement will piss off a lot of people