He confessed to me that one of his friends told him that he was not good for a video game called Fortnite .

There was a mixture of anger and sadness in his eyes. Frustration. Then he told me that he didn't care, but seconds later he burst into tears.

The little boy was hurt.

I tried to explain to him that he shouldn't let the comments of others affect him. That the important thing was only what he believed about himself.

But I didn't convince him.

Because in the end we do care — and sometimes too much — what others say about us. I then thought of my own inability to deal with third-party comments towards my performance even in adulthood. In how difficult it can be to accept criticism and in the way in which for years I allowed the opinion of bosses, subordinates and colleagues to affect my self-esteem and therefore my performance.

I remember meetings in which, mired in insecurity, I did not say what I should have said. That constant and eternal fear was present, silencing again and again what I considered true. But the worst was not my silence: the worst was that the less I expressed myself, the more insecure I felt and my self-esteem the more affected it was.

That silence that I saw as a protection became a drag that pulled me to the bottom, preventing me from standing out and being able to become a better version of myself.

And I know that I am not alone.

In work dynamics, silences and half-truths are a thing of every day, as are insecure beings who roam the long corridors of corporations looking for meaning with their battered self-esteem.

Your self-esteem: the superpower

Entrepreneurship is not easy. It requires courage, perseverance, patience. There will be moments of absolute uncertainty where you will question the decision you have made. The accounts will not turn out as you expected and you will end up working many more hours than when you were an employee. So you must be prepared and your superpower in the face of adversity, your armor, will always be your self-esteem.

What to do to keep it healthy? Here are some recommendations.

1. Imagine what you want to achieve

Achieving goals makes you feel good and the first step to reaching them is to envision them. When British mountaineer George Mallory was asked why he wanted to climb Everest he simply replied: "Because there it is." Having the summit to conquer in sight will make you feel motivated. Don't take your eyes off her and make sure you never stop moving towards her.

2. Set goals that you can achieve

It is impossible to run a marathon without having trained. To do this you will have to start with short races that will progressively increase until reaching 42 kilometers.

In each of them there is enormous satisfaction.

The famous phrase of the poet Ralph Waldo Emerson sums it up very well: " Life is a journey, not a destination".

When undertaking, set achievable goals and enjoy when you achieve each of them.

3. Forgive yourself for past mistakes.

You are alive and for that simple fact you will make wrong decisions. On the way you will fail. You will lose money, clients and perhaps even a friend or two. When it happens, analyze the situation, understand what happened and learn from it. Take the mistake as a lesson, but move on.

Let it go. Be compassionate to yourself and forgive yourself.

4. Make time for yourself

A common mistake when undertaking is to believe that by working non-stop you will carry out the project. Far from helping this wears you down and if you're not careful, it can undermine your self-esteem. You need time for yourself. To do what you like. Read, dance, run, get away for a weekend. Disconnect. Remember that you yourself are the main responsible for your emotional well-being.

5. Learn to say no

The temptation to cover everything is great. Mainly when you start a business. You don't want to let go of a single customer, a single opportunity. But it is necessary to learn to say no. Set your rates well, set limits and if something does not suit you or takes you away from your final goal, decline it.

6. Break the silence

Speaks. If something worries you, say so. If something satisfies you, say so. If there is a problem, bring it up. The simple act of verbalizing things has enormous power to make you feel better. Look for the right moment, but also learn to be spontaneous. Sometimes it is necessary to respond in real time to the stimuli we receive. And remember that no matter who your interlocutor is, you always have the right to express what you feel.

7. Don't compare yourself to anyone

We live in a highly competitive environment. It is natural to look at the entrepreneur next door: how much has he earned? What has he achieved? Is he doing better than me?

Measure yourself, not others.

Your sense of worth should not be expressed in closed deals or achievements. Feel good about who you are and look to others for inspiration, never competition.

8. Hug yourself

You can tell yourself over and over again how well you have done. You yourself can remind yourself of the complexity of the path traveled and look at it with pride. Be happy with each of your achievements and hug yourself whenever you can. May your emotional well-being never depend on the compliments of others.

Sufficient yourself.

And if someone tells you that you are not capable, that your plan is pointless, that you will surely fail or that you are not good at video games, take control of your life and show them otherwise.

If you believe in yourself you will achieve it.

I assure.

Originally published here.