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Alpha Males Are Not Attractive as You Think

The downside of having a strong and sometimes domineering personality is that you may very easily step on other people's boundaries without even realizing it.


Jessey Anthony

3 months ago | 4 min read


Most women rely on men who dominate in relationships. These women look for men who are confident, assertive, charismatic, and capable of taking charge of situations.

Men that are attractive, disciplined, and successful. Who are in great shape, and can be very protective of their partners. Society looks at men like this as alpha males.

But as attractive as alpha males are, they are more complicated than you would think. Having a better understanding of what kinds of behavior to expect when dating an alpha male can help you decide if they are the best match for you.

1. They are selfish

They are very confident individuals. They know what they want and will get it by any means necessary, even if it means trampling over someone.

Their primary focus is often their job, and they are ready to sacrifice their love life, family, and friends to pursue career success.

Since alpha males don’t care about what anyone else thinks, sometimes they say and do things that can make others uncomfortable. If you are a people pleaser, rethink dating one of these guys.

2. They can be sexually abusive

Alpha males who adhere to rigid, sexist stereotypes of patriarchy are more likely to use and tolerate violence against women.

Psychologists say that the extreme behavior of alpha males is pathological and can amount to sexual harassment. Men who believe in the sexual right to women’s bodies or rape myths are more likely than other men to rape women.

If your feelings for your partner are entrapment, suffocation, and insecurity, you have to get out before it gets worse.

3. They are very possessive

Another flaw with dating alpha males is they are very territorial. They make sure no one gets access to the people they love. They are very jealous and protective of their assets.

While this seemingly romantic gesture is often enjoyed at the beginning of a relationship- it can become overwhelming after some time.

The alpha male’s “protection” can seem more “suffocating” over time. He may not be willing to allow you to protect yourself, or he may treat you like you are god or porcelain.

So if you are someone who likes to wear revealing clothes, or your job involves being sexual and exposing parts of your body, an alpha male won’t want to be in a committed relationship with you, and he may not be the best choice for you.

4. They are controlling

Alpha males like to dominate because they are natural winners and have an all-knowing personality. And being with someone who is dominating literally puts you in a submissive role.

Whether at work, school, or home, most alpha males want to be in charge and control every detail.

For example, if you want to go to dinner, he will want to plan every detail from choosing the day to what you will wear for dinner. And if you want to go on vacation, he will want to plan that too.

Challenging his authority can result in bouts of arguments, sulking, or withdrawal. People in relationships with alpha males often feel like they are fighting for their right to be heard in the relationship.

You have to set your boundaries so you do not become a codependent partner. Learn how to stand your ground when your partner becomes controlling.

5. They are not romantic

Alpha males hate showing their emotions. They believe that showing emotions is another sign of weakness.

They focus on opportunities to improve themselves, their position in life, and the lives of those around them.

This may be an attractive quality at the beginning of the relationship, but as your relationship becomes permanent, you will start to feel bored with having the same routine repeated every single day.

If you’re the kind of girl who needs a soft, emotionally in-touch guy, an alpha male is probably the wrong choice for you.

6. They are boring

Alpha males are often loners when it comes to maintaining close friendships. Everything about them will be exciting in new relationships. But once that phase is over, you’ll get to know him a little better.

At this point, you may find that he is not as spicy and entertaining as you might have thought.

In other words, dating an alpha male means that your social circle may gradually shrink over time, as not many can accommodate the high-demand alpha males.

Women are responsible for many things, both physically and emotionally — trying to choose the right career, staying on top of finances, staying mentally and physically healthy, and keeping in touch with friends.

Life is difficult and scary.

Sometimes when we just want to give up and crawl under the cover of a comfortable blanket, we dream that someone takes over. The hero alpha wraps the heroine in his protective arms and carries her through all of life’s decisions as she makes them.

If your partner is confident in himself and the stability of his relationship, he may not display any of these behaviors at all.

The important thing to keep in mind is that these traits may be present or absent depending on the male and the conditions.


Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.


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Jessey Anthony



Jessey is a travel addict, freelance content writer and fitness coach. Check out more from me at:







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