5 Minutes | 3 Ideas, Quotes, and Questions | 1 Challenge
We often get angry because it feels more powerful than the place we’ve been before.
It often seems like the only emotion that’s appropriate to express as a man is anger.
Instead of crying because our girlfriend left us, we take it out on the gym equipment. Instead of telling someone they hurt us, we scream at them. Instead of admitting defeat, we clench our fists and curse.
Often, the underlying idea is that we don’t want to be weak. We try to reclaim our power through anger because we think screaming and steaming are what make us strong. But this achieves the complete opposite of what we want.
As Marcus Aurelius said:
“A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance — unlike the angry and complaining. The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.”
When you give in to your anger, you become a slave to your emotions. Instead of having the strength and courage to feel the sadness, hurt, and disappointment that life often brings, you look for an easy way out. That is weakness.
The next time you get angry, observe what’s going on inside of you. Do you rage just because you can’t cope with another emotion? It takes balls to admit this, but being able to own your feelings and master your reaction to them is what makes you a strong, masculine man.
“You are only one decision away from a totally different life.” — Anonymous
It’s amazing how a small, seemingly innocent decision can change your whole life.
One day, I decided to publish an article on Medium just to try it. Today, I’m a full-time writer and coach who’s able to work from anywhere in the world.
One day, I decided to sign up for a gym. Today, I not only have six-pack abs but the sport has taught me more about discipline, character, and the value of consistent hard work than anything else in my life.
One day, I decided to talk to my dad about all the things that happened in the past. Today, I’m much more at peace with myself and my family.
One day, I’ll make another decision I’ll look back at and say to myself “I’m so glad I did it.”
There are two things you can learn from that.
First, appreciate what you have and don’t fret when you’re down in the dumps. In both cases, everything can change on a whim.
Second, if you want to change your life, start by making the small decisions you’ve been putting off. Sing up for the gym. Meet new people. Talk to the girl. Open the business. Start writing. Explore as much as you can — small changes can lead to huge results.
You can’t guarantee how the future will play out, but you can set the course today.
If you could dare yourself, what would you have yourself do?
In line with the above quote — it’s time to take action.
There was something powerful about having someone daring you as a kid — it made you do things you’d never have done otherwise. I once ate an earthworm.
A friend did a handstand on a barbecue grate while the coals were still glowing (stupid idea.) Another one got detention for showing a teacher his naked butt. But what if you turned these sins of your youth into something useful?
I’m sure there are a few things that would benefit your life if you just did them, but you’re too scared. Shh, don’t listen to your ego telling you there’s nothing. It’s okay. I’m scared of shit too. That’s why sometimes, we need to dare ourselves to do the right things.
Think about it — if you had your best interest at heart, what would you dare yourself to do?
As Tim Ferriss said: “What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”
Write a list of all the things that make you a great man.
I don’t know you personally, but I know you are great in a lot of ways.
No matter how small your self-esteem, how warped your view of yourself, or how many messed up names people called you — there are so many things that make you worthy and awesome as a human being and a man.
You just have to become aware of them.
That’s why I want you to write a list of all the things that make you a great man. Your loyalty. Your cooking skills. Your smarts.
Your beard. Your humor. Your values. Your principles. Your ambition. Once you get going, it will be hard to stop.
When I did this exercise a few weeks ago, I was genuinely surprised about how many things you can come up with if you stop listening to the nagging voice that always wants to put you down.
Not only that, but once I was finished and looked over the list again, I realized that holy shit, I’m fucking awesome — not in an arrogant, but in a self-loving way. The resulting feeling and confidence boost are amazing, which is why I want to share this with you.
Now go and write your list — and whenever you feel down, look at it again and realize that you are a great man.
I wish you all the best!
Until next time,