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The Authentic Man 5–3–1: On Having Epic Days, Fear, and Impressing Others

Never underestimate the power of continuous learning and improvement.


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Moreno Zugaro

2 years ago | 5 min read

5 Minutes | 3 Ideas, Quotes, and Questions | 1 Challenge

1 IDEA

No-one you should care about cares about the shiny shit you buy. Stop trying to impress people who don’t matter.

Humans crave validation. Back in cavemen times, we used it to evaluate whether our tribe deemed our actions appropriate or not. If no one approved of you, you better got your shit together unless you wanted to sleep with the sabretooth tigers.

But a once natural process has taken on bizarre forms in our modern world.

Men go into debt buying fancy new cars that lose 20% of their value the moment they drive it off the dealer’s lot. Others post videos of them eating golden steaks and receive millions of likes. Some max out credit cards to impress models or stretch their bank account like a WeightWatchers participant their leggings just to one-up their neighbor with a bigger pool, barbecue, or lawnmower.

This is crazy. Not only do you compare yourself to others in an imaginary dick-measuring contest, but you also reduce yourself to the level of your purchases by entering the competition. In the end, it’s all for naught.

When you look back upon your life on your deathbed, what matters is the person you’ve been, not the money you’ve spent.

Even while you’re still alive and well, the people who matter will love you for the person you are, not the car you drive. The ones who measure you according to your big boy toys aren’t worth the hassle. Be confident and love yourself enough to forego the competition.

Instead of spending your money on impressing the people who don’t matter, invest it in yourself so you grow and become a better man for the ones who do.

1 QUOTE

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

— Dale Carnegie

Fear is a funny thing.

It’s all in your head. You’re afraid of hypothetical situations, but once they happen, you aren’t afraid of them anymore. Yet, the fear of imaginary events has real consequences for your life.

How often did you get stuck out of fear? How often did you want to do something but didn’t because you were afraid of failure, rejection, and ridicule? It has happened to me many more times than I can count.

But when you hesitate, you reinforce the loop. Instead of facing the situation, your mind gets lost in an imaginary scenario, growing the small seed of fear into a terrifying and thorny thicket. Take action instead.

Not everything will work out. But regardless of the outcome, when you do something you’re afraid of and survive, you become more confident and courageous. The little boy who’s afraid of going into the pool will forever be terrified of the ocean. The one who tries to swim might swallow a bit of water but can eventually surf the waves.

You don’t have to face your biggest fears head-on. But take tiny, little steps in the right direction. Write down your business idea. Approach a woman to ask her for the time. Look for other jobs if your current one doesn’t fulfill you. Tell a toxic friend you can’t make it tonight.

Every time you hesitate, you become more afraid. Every time you act, you become more confident.

1 QUESTION

How are you going to make today epic?

Those who want it all usually end up with nothing.

Often, I want too much from my days. Write this article, move that project forward, call this guy, check that opportunity out. When that happens, I lose focus on what really matters and feel exhausted and drained. Trying to do it all is neither necessary nor will it make you happy.

What if you instead picked one thing that, if you accomplished it, would make the day an epic one? Do what gets you closer to your purpose, whatever that may be. Make it your top priority. If you manage to do that, you can go to bed with a smile on your face, knowing that today, you did the right thing and made a difference.

Life’s simple. Take it one day at a time. Do one thing that matters, celebrate yourself, and repeat.

Strive to make every day an epic one, and you’ll have an epic life.

THE CHALLENGE

Educate yourself about a topic of your choice.

The single most important skill my grandma taught me was learning.

“Nobody can take away from you what you know.” As a kid who rather wanted to play video games and soccer with his buddies I didn’t quite get it. But today, I’m incredibly grateful because without this mindset, I’d never have gotten to where I am.

If you don’t learn new things, you’ll get stuck. Stuck in your old ways, your old behaviors, and at your old level. Evolution has always been a race for getting better — and if everyone’s running, standing still means you die.

Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors of all time, reportedly spends up to 80% of his days reading and learning. He once said:

“I constantly see people rise in life who are not the smartest, sometimes not even the most diligent, but they are learning machines. They go to bed every night a little wiser than they were when they got up and boy does that help, particularly when you have a long run ahead of you.”

The great news is we live in the digital age. You have more information available to you than ever before, most of it even for free. There are YouTube channels, podcasts, books, blogs, and other opportunities.

Whether you want to start a business, fix your car, get your relationship to the next level, find your purpose, or learn how to strum the guitar and mix a mean Mojito, nothing’s holding you back. Except for one thing, of course.

You.

While you would like to be the amazing guitar guy or Mojito mixer, you often don’t get around to it due to the all-to-familiar excuses. “I don’t have time.” “I’ve always been bad at XYZ.” “I’m too tired after work.” Let me give it to you plain and simple: If you want it, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find excuses.

Look at this as your wake-up call to finally get up and put in the effort to learn whatever skill or knowledge you’d like to have. For the next two weeks, put in twenty minutes per day — definitely doable. You’ll be surprised at how far you’ll have come in the end.

Never underestimate the power of continuous learning and improvement.

I wish you all the best!

Until next time,

Moreno

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Moreno Zugaro

Thought-provoking personal growth & slightly inappropriate humor | 600K views | Join 1000+ men on the path of authentic self-improvement: https://bit.ly/3ciahGF


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