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Becoming the Best You Can Be Is Harder Than You Think

We often try to become the best we can be. However, it is hard to define because we also believe we have no limits. So, here is the balance you need.


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Tavian jean-pierre

3 years ago | 5 min read

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”

Maya Angelou

If someone asked you this, you would not be able to answer it. Most questions like this require quantifying, and we can not do that with ourselves. The Maslow needs below this one, such as food, can be quantified.

We know when we are full and no longer need enough food. We also know when we have healthy relationships around us and do not need any more. But to know when we have reached our full potential is not something easily decided.

We can base it on being the best at what we do, but that means our fulfilment is based on others being losers. The only way we become the best at anything is by others being worse. We could also base our full potential on a destination we set for ourselves in the future. For example, becoming a multi-millionaire.

Although you could say that is your full potential, the question remains what if you could have done more. Yes, I would agree that you are satisfied with your result, but satisfaction and fulfilment are not the same things. So then, we are still left with the problem of knowing the best version of ourselves.

Nevertheless, I do think it is possible to reach the best version of yourself. But it must be defined by the constraints of your environment. Someone will always have more resources and better health than you do. So the definitions of your best self must grow with you as you obtain more resources and the ability to do more.

The best version of you today will hopefully not be the best version of you in ten years. As you grow in wisdom, wealth and maturity, you should find your best becomes better than the last. So, how do we go about becoming the best version of ourselves?

Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on Pexels.com
Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on Pexels.com

If someone asked you this, you would not be able to answer it. Most questions like this require quantifying, and we can not do that with ourselves. The Maslow needs below this one, such as food, can be quantified.

We know when we are full and no longer need enough food. We also know when we have healthy relationships around us and do not need any more. But to know when we have reached our full potential is not something easily decided.

We can base it on being the best at what we do, but that means our fulfilment is based on others being losers. The only way we become the best at anything is by others being worse. We could also base our full potential on a destination we set for ourselves in the future. For example, becoming a multi-millionaire.

Although you could say that is your full potential, the question remains what if you could have done more. Yes, I would agree that you are satisfied with your result, but satisfaction and fulfilment are not the same things. So then, we are still left with the problem of knowing the best version of ourselves.

Nevertheless, I do think it is possible to reach the best version of yourself. But it must be defined by the constraints of your environment. Someone will always have more resources and better health than you do. So the definitions of your best self must grow with you as you obtain more resources and the ability to do more.

The best version of you today will hopefully not be the best version of you in ten years. As you grow in wisdom, wealth and maturity, you should find your best becomes better than the last. So, how do we go about becoming the best version of ourselves?

Photo by Nina Uhlíková on Pexels.com
Photo by Nina Uhlíková on Pexels.com

The best version of ourselves is not a destination. Although I enjoy focussing on end goals, it would not make sense to set a limit on the best you can be. Do not let others limit you either. Becoming our best selves is about using the resources we have at each moment to be the best we can be.

For young students, the best version of themselves may be obtaining amazing grades. However, it is unlikely they would be able to have a family and become a great parent. They would not have built up the life experience, money and resources needed to do so.

As we grow in knowledge and wisdom, it is our responsibility to use it to level up. And that means that our best selves become better too. Becoming the best you can be is about self-reflecting about what you have now. Then you should think about if it is possible to do more with that.

That is why the need for self-actualisation comes after you have achieved all others. Those other things need to be fulfilled in life to then identify the gaps in your life that you could work on to become the best you can be. And as you grow and learn more, you can push your best self forward.

Your Need for Self-Actualisation

We have finally reached the end of our series on the Maslow hierarchy of needs. I hope you enjoyed my deep dive into this psychological model. Keep your eyes on the lookout for more insightful reads on topics just like this one. To round it off, I want to leave you with some thinking to do.

Maslow believed that not many ever obtain the need for self-actualisation. Part of that reason is that people spend so long trying to gather resources to fulfil the other lower needs. People look for fame to try to achieve love and belonging. Some will spend their whole life pursuing money for safety needs.

You have one chance at life, and if you can not obtain the best version of yourself in it, then one may have to ask what was the point? The highest need is also the most important one. It ensures your life was worthwhile and that you can leave the experience of living at peace with yourself.

So, here are the questions I am leaving you with:

  1. If you are gathering resources, what are you doing it for? (Safety needs, love and belonging…) Only you know the answer to this.
  2. Do you have enough resources to reach self-actualisation? (Have you accomplished a lot of the needs in the Maslow hierarchy?) If so, what are you using the rest of your resources for?
  3. How many resources do you have that are not allocated to becoming the best version of yourself?

A Useful Thought.

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Tavian jean-pierre

I am a Visionary and Writer who seeks to enrich society by challenging how we do business today to lead to a world of better leaders and opportunities tomorrow.


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