Recently, I went to see a close friend have his first competitive boxing match. We all know he had trained hard, and we were sure it would be a great fight. Although the person he was fighting was bigger and had more experience, we believed that his strategy and hard work would pull him to the win.

Unfortunately, it did not turn out that way, and he lost on points. Nevertheless, it was an entertaining fight, and for his first fight, he did well. It was a shame to see him lose, and he was disappointed in himself as he had worked hard to make his first fight a win. However, upon second thought, we both learned that a loss is not to his disadvantage.

Defeat and loss will always hurt, especially if you are extremely competitive like my friend. But the benefits of losing outweigh the benefits of winning. Yes, you will gain status and a little fame, but nothing beats the lessons you learn from overcoming a setback.

Here are two things I have learned from bouncing back from setbacks in my own life. These lessons have all led me to greater rewards in the future and have made me grateful for my failures.

Appreciating Your Flaws

A lot of the time, we try hiding our flaws due to fear of being judged. For many of us, our flaws are the scars of previous losses we have accumulated. I know some individuals who struggle in certain situations and shy away from particular events due to past experiences.

None of us likes to look vulnerable or weak, and our flaws are a constant reminder that there are areas in our lives that we are. We do not appreciate these flaws because others criticise us for them and are less likely to pick us for approvable.

Nevertheless, those flaws can often point us to a greater appreciation for ourselves. We are not perfect, and perfectionism tends to lead to the failure of many things. People spend time on less vital tasks and worry about minute details when trying to be perfect.

Our human experience does not call us to be perfect. It calls us to become better as our experiences grow. Knowing we will never be perfect, our flaws no longer become points for judgement, but places we can improve. The expectation of perfection is too high on any person for them to achieve. And if anyone lived like that, they would never appreciate themselves.

Self-appreciation comes from owning your wins and your losses. Bouncing back from defeat allows you to appreciate you are human and still can improve. And your wins confirm that your flaws can indeed be conquered. Without flaws, there would be no need for self-appreciation because there would be no problems to conquer.

Increased Self-Confidence From Bouncing Back From Defeat

Getting knocked down by a setback sucks, and it can hit our self-confidence. However, we gain greater self-confidence in ourselves when we come back from defeat. I remember being terrible at maths up to the age of 15.

However, with my exams soon approaching, I had to prove that I could do better. I sat down and studied as hard as I could for the subject. So when I came out of the exam with a poor grade, it hit my self-confidence hard. It made me feel like I would never be able to do it no matter how hard I tried.

It took me a week to review the mistakes in the paper because I did not want to accept my defeat. But when I finally opened it, I realised I was not too far away. There were only a few things I had to work on, and some of my mistakes were just small errors I could improve on.

By looking at the reason for my defeat, I found the motivation to become better. And that motivation regenerated my self-confidence. For the next test, I promised myself that whatever the outcome, I was not going to repeat the same mistakes. Those included:

• Not reading the question properly
• Checking my answers before moving on
• Carrying out algebra the long way rather than the short way to not make mistakes

By keeping to those things, I managed to get the second highest and move up a class. Bouncing back from defeat gave me the self-confidence I needed to achieve a great grade at the end of the year. That experience still carries me through the complex maths problems that I do in my Engineering degree.

So, your defeats do not need to be a crusher to your self-confidence. They can act as a springboard to take you to higher levels by bouncing back from the defeat you have encountered.

Closing Thoughts

Some of the hardest things we face in life are defeats. However, bouncing back is one of the most courageous things we can do. We often see that our rewards come after we have completed something. That may be winning a competitive fight or completing a good piece of work.

However, the real reward is not in the gifts we receive but in the progress we have made. Even our defeats hold precious life lessons and rewards if we look closely enough. So, next time you experience defeat, see it as an opportunity to increase your self-confidence and appreciate your flaws.

A Fruitful Thought.