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Cancel, Cancel Culture

Learn the back story before you cancel the friendship.


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Vance Larson CHt

2 years ago | 2 min read

Don't believe everything you read. Don't believe everything you hear. And if you do, look a little deeper...

I am a big fan of forgiveness. I am smart enough to know, that some very good people have said some very bad things. We have all had bad days. No one escapes them. But today, we live in a world of cancel. The cancel culture. We jump to conclusions and we write people off. We see a blog, tweet or text from someone, and if we don't agree with it, we shun them. But why? Why crucify someone for having a bad day? 

I am all for holding people accountable. I do believe that people more often than not, know what is right and what is wrong. But being in mental health for 36 years, I also know that people get upset. That they don't always act in a responsible manner. But lets set that aside. People are allowed to change. Being upset with someone, for something they said 5 maybe or 10 years ago is not logical. Hell, I am not even the same man I was 5 months ago. And you know what? I dig it. I like that I do so much inner work and meditation, that I have huge growth spurts every few months. I know this because my circle continues to change. My growth is confirmed, by looking at my old blogs, emails and even my social media timelines. 

We shouldn't condone bad or unhealthy behavior. What we should do is ask questions. Observe. You can't go one week without hearing about someone getting fired for a tweet that they may have posted in college or something. Am I saying we should give people a pass?  Maybe. How about we look at history. I have known people who are no longer friends because of this very scenario. Friends for years, until one saw the others memories on their timeline. Boom! Just like that, friends no more. Forget the fact of how they made you feel for the past couple of years. Forget the fact that you let them into your inner circle. A post. A post from years ago tore them apart. Sounds silly to me.

We live in a cancel culture. I say cancel, the cancel culture. Allow for some grace. Let people grow and not throw their past in their face. You will never have a successful relationship if you're keeping score. Nor will you if you're hanging onto the past. People change. And hopefully you will too. If it's a negative pattern that continues, sure move on. But if someone say's something stupid or offends you, look at their history. Extend some grace. Give them that courtesy. Because one day in the future, I am sure you will find yourself not being your best self. You may even post your bad day on social media for the whole world to see. And at the point, you're going to wish that someone would extend you some grace. Because that's what adults do. We ask for forgiveness. And if you're lucky, you may find someone who doesn't believe in the cancel culture. They will believe in you. 

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Vance Larson CHt

I am a retired crisis counselor of 20 years, now working as a Life Coach, case manager and consultant. My coaching services primarily focus on personal development, self worth and relationships. I'm also an author and write for several weekly columns.


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