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How to Protect your Marriage

Never hand out a love letter to a complete stranger


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Sam Landford

a month ago | 8 min read

Protecting your marriage is like guarding it with your life. The relationship you have with your spouse should be your priority. There are a few ways to protect your marriage.

1. Manage to have an everlasting love and marriage

For those who thought that falling in love with a person is already love, well think again. This is not love at all. This is one of the wrong impressions about love.In present times, divorce had been the trend of married couples. When a wedding happens, we think that the couple is perfect for each other, that’s why they got married. Studies show that the main component of a successful marriage is people who stay in love. They are healthy in both a physical and emotional aspect.

They have more earnings compared to single persons or divorcee. This is also the reason why people who are happily married grow older than those who are not. Marriage can make a person or couple happier. It brings true happiness, thus less depression. This also protects the individuals from sexually transmitted diseases.The reason that married couples end up in divorce is not addressing the problem in a timely manner. If something needs to be fixed, then try to mend things right away. Take for example a cut in your hand, if you will not clean it and treat it, then it would get worse. It is just as simple as with regards to marital discord. If you wait longer to fix things with your spouse the more difficult it becomes to solve the issue. At some point, one or both of you may get tired of the situation, which will eventually lead to divorce. There will be times also that the problem is already too big to handle, so both just give up. It may be too late to save the marriage.

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Married couples cannot just give up sad or troubled marriages. Even for dating couples as well, having a bad relationship is not enough of a reason to quit. Why not try to make things work? After all you are the one who chose to be in that situation. Ending your first marriage doesn’t mean that the second will be better. So, try to put more effort in making the relationship work.As there are two individuals in a relationship, if conflict occurs, don’t blame it all on the other person.

Assess yourself as well; maybe you have been the cause of the bad behaviour of your partner. Leaving the person doesn’t mean that the problem will be solved. The problem doesn’t end there. If you were able to walk away from your troubled marriage, well you can’t hide anything from yourself. Couples are called partners because they should take part in one another. Expressing your fears and doubts, and needs may help better the relationship. A lot of break-ups happen because couple don’t know how to deal with each other’s differences.Men and women have a lot of differences. Men have different ways of expressing their emotions from women. Individuals also have different experiences in their past. However, both men and women are alike when it comes to needs. Both need to be loved. You definitely know your partner, so find ways that work for the two of you to make a lasting marriage.

2. Keeping a Happy and Healthy Marriage

Marriage is a life-long process. The couple should willingly work on it to make it last. A successful marriage does not just happen. Both should constantly work things out. By living one day at a time, it will bring you closer to each other. But as time passes, things may not always be as it seems. The smiles may turn to tears, the laughter into sorrow. So how can a separation or divorce be prevented? The following are ways to keep the marriage going.

•    Work on your marriage. Falling in love is not enough; staying in love is all that matters. Learn how to do it. Both should work on nurturing the relationship. It should be a two way street. Always find quality time with your spouse. Do not take anything for granted with regards to your relationship.

•    Make decisions together. Every decision should be discussed first by the couple before taking action. Always remember that it needs to benefit both and the family.

•    Sacrifices are part of a married life. There are some dreams that need to be put aside so that you can do what is best for the two of you or the family. Once you’re married, you need to accept the fact that not everything is about you.

•    Being married is having your own family. They should always be the first concern. Your plans and ambitions should be shaped by them. There will be several limitations to your actions. This is to protect your marriage.

•    Communication. Talking to your spouse often will bring you closer to each other. This is not just with talking, but listening also. Listening to your spouse will make them feel loved and understood.

•    Be confident. Your actions say a lot. If there is something that bothers you, tell your spouse. If there are some decisions that you are not comfortable with be assertive and talk about it.

•    Displaying negative emotions brings stress. Don’t be the cause of stress to your partner. Instead be the reason for your spouse’s happiness.

•    Constantly tell your partner you love them. This should not only be with words but in actions as well. Do some things that will surprise your spouse once in a while. Like helping with the household chores, or buying simple things for him or her.•    Encourage one another to try new things. In the long run, couples tend to get bored with each other. The excitement of the getting-to-know stage has subsided. So both need to try out new things to make marriage more interesting.

•    Be each other’s best friend. Be the person to whom your partner can trust and depend on all the time. Give your spouse a little space of his or her own. Even if you’re married, they still have a life of their own.

•    Forgiveness is the secret to a lasting marriage. Dwelling on the faults of your partner will just bring chaos to the relationship. Learn to forgive and forget to have a better marriage.

•    Commend each other whenever you can. Your praises brings joy to your spouse. There’s no other great way of showing you are proud of your partner than the appreciation you give. This will help boost the other’s self-esteem and the confidence they have in themselves. If a person is well appreciated, the more the other person will admire you. And if there’s admiration in marriage, the greater the chance the marriage will survive the trials in life.

3.  Understanding what true love is

Another problem that leads to distress is being envious. There should be no room for envy in a couple’s relationship. It will ruin the relationship. It would not be nice to achieve something if your spouse feels belittled and intimidated. A proud wife or husband creates a prosperous marriage. An example is a proud husband in the achievements of his wife. If there are things that are wrongly said then don’t hesitate to apologise.As human beings, we have positive and negative aspects. When you marry a person, it’s a package deal. You are marrying the entirety of the person, not just the good side.

But it does however, gives you a lifelong companion. Loving yourself is important and if you feel secure in yourself you can give love without expecting it return. Always keep in mind that loving someone doesn’t mean that they will love you in return. Therefore, being selfish is not a character of love, and should not be in any marriage. It will just cause a lot of conflicts. Also, forgiveness and leaving the past behind creates a peaceful home. Bringing old habits and faults to the present will just bring discord. Again, we are human beings and are prone to make mistakes. But we don’t want to be always reminded of the mistakes that were already forgiven and settled.Marriage is sacred. It is the union of two people bound in love. So, true love does not rejoice in evil. If you notice there are wrongdoings of your partner, talk to them right away. T

his helps you to have a stronger bond with your partner.True love surpasses everything. Having this kind of love is important. This makes couples want to take care and not allow anything to happen that would end their relationship. They will go through trials together, and fight together. They trust, love and respect each other. They will always want to protect, to hope, to trust and to persevere in order to make the marriage last. And they will grow old together. This is not easy though, because in marriage you will go through fire to test your marriage. But with true love, you will be able to endure it all.

4. Keep a Good Relationship

Keeping a satisfied and happy marriage is one of the great fulfilments in life. There are various reasons why a person marries. They marry because of love. They also wanted to have someone to grow old with. And they marry for friendship and intimacy too. However, staying in love is not as easy as we think it is. This is the very reason why there are a lot of divorces nowadays. Married couples find it hard to cope with their differences. There are ways to help you stay happily married.

•    Do not get angry at the same time. This is common advice to married couples. Getting angry at the same time will just make matters worse. You will not be able to think straight and talk about possible solutions. So, if your partner is angry, try to be patient. Stay calm. Sometimes they just need an ear to listen to make them feel better.

•    Do not yell. Yelling destroys the relationship. Swallow your pride and stop arguing with each other. Mistakes always happen because nobody is perfect. Wait for the right time for you to talk. Talk calmly. It will make things easier.

•    Appreciate your partner. Even though we know that we are loved, we still need to hear affirmation from our partners. Appreciation boosts up a person’s self-esteem. Always look on the brighter side of things; it will help you realise some traits that your partner has that are not usually seen by many.

•    Acceptance. Marrying a person means accepting everything there is in the person. The person has a good side and a bad side. Changing your partner to what you wanted can cause conflicts. There would be a lot differences from each other but accept your partner just as he or she is.

•    Communication. This is a must. Every relationship should have good communication. Even though you have a busy day, always find time to talk with your spouse. You can talk over the phone on work breaks or over breakfast and dinner. And the best time to talk is before going to sleep at night, where you are just alone together and talk about the day’s work. Through these simple talks, you can keep posted of what’s going on in your spouse’s life away from home.

•    Being supportive. Support your partner in every endeavour he or she goes through. Continuous adjustment is one factor that helps a marriage last. Do not force what you want on to your spouse. Respect his or her decision as long as it will not interfere with your relationship. Try your best to support your spouse in anything he does. If he fails, try not to point a finger at him. Instead stay calm and still try to inspire him. If you need to suggest anything, say it in a kind way. By doing this, men will feel more masculine and gain more self-confidence, and women have less mood swings and become more adaptive.Married life is a process. It doesn’t stop at weddings. It needs to be worked on, to make it work and last. Maintain a reasonable attitude to make a happy marriage. Always remember to have high acceptance, low expectations.

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