How Your Choices Influences Your Personal Development

Change is inevitable. But It’s not out of your control.


Joshua Idegbere

2 years ago | 4 min read

Nothing remains the same. Change is always taking place. Sometimes obvious but other times, more insidious. But its wheel is always rolling.

Everything changes including you. Your preferences today are quite different from what they were a few years ago. Some of your dislikes have turned likes, and some of your likes have fallen into your dislike list.

However these processes seem to be taking place by itself, we can’t but agree that we influence some of these changes that take place in our lives.

For instance, I once disliked listening to or playing trap music. On getting to school, I stayed with someone who loves trap music. We became friends and soon because he loves and plays them regularly, I fell for it. Now I play trap songs and love some of them especially those by French Montana, Desiigner, Drake, Rick Ross…

Another thing I once loved I thought I could never do without was movies. I loved movies. I became an addiction at a point. But at a point, I fancy some intelligent people in the hood. Their carriage and the respect people have for them was exceptional.

I made friends with some of them and soon enough started to do what they are fond of — reading.

Gradually, watching movies, ones on my like list now is on my dislike list.

But the point is this,

Change is inevitable. But it is not outside of our control.

What You Choose to Focus On Influences Your Attitude to Life.

We all have the freedom to choose what to focus on, but afterward, what we focus on influences our lives in no small ways.

The right attitude will take you places while the wrong ones will sink you.

The difference between wealth and poverty is attitude. Then what's gonna be the attitude to life makes men poor while it is to be it is up to me attitude makes men rich and wealthy and influential.

The difference between having a healthy loving marriage and a hell experience in marriage is attitude.

Couples who enjoy bliss in their marriage created it intentionally. They learnt to listen, to criticize constructively with love, they learn to not blame their partner when things go wrong but instead take responsibility. The couples whose marriage is hellish do the reverse.

Change is inevitable. But your attitude heavily influences it.

Your Priorities Influences Your Choices and Your Choices Dictates Your Destiny.

You see, the choices you and I have made until now created the present situation we are in now. Good or bad.

The future is created not wished into existence. And it is created by our choices. You can choose to sleep in entertainment. Spending all your 24 hours on social media reconnecting with old friends, liking Instagram pictures, and viewing every WhatsApp statues. That approach has a very predictable destination.

But you can also choose education instead. You spend most of your time reading helpful stuff online, devouring books on how to advance your life, learning skills that people can pay you for when you get good at it.

That too has a predictable destination. You already know because you have above-average intelligence to decipher it.

But the point is this, those choices are dictated by our priorities. Said another way, our priorities dictate our choices and our choices impact our lives.

Change is inevitable. But our priorities influence those changes.

Who You Spent Your Time With Influences the Person You Become.

Jim Rohn said it better: You are the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.

More than the thought we think, the people we associate with have a huge impact on our lives. They determine the direction our life moves towards.

The friends I came in contact with completely changed the direction o was heading. It was by our association that replaced my movies watching addiction to reading books and after some time, writing articles.

The reverse could also have been the case. Had I met someone who binge watch Netflix as I did in those early days, my life would have lost every element of purpose and value by now. But I'm so thankful I met the right person who influenced me positively.

The impact of friendship is powerful. That's why if anything, you should choose the ones you admire. Choose someone who is living the life you wish to live. Choose someone who is already doing what you hope to do in the next few years.

From them, you will learn what might have taken you years to figure out. Their success will leave you a clue is you can condition your mind to learn from it.

Change is inevitable. But the friend you keep influences who you eventually become.

Final thoughts

Change is a process that drives itself. Nevertheless, it is not entirely out of our control. Our influence over it is also significant.

Surely things are never going to be the same. But our influence over it determines where we end up. As valuable, influential, productive, or as relegated, lonely, unproductive beings. Those are determined by our influence over the self-driving inevitable process.

By paying attention to those attitudes, choices, priorities, and people we keep around, we can be in control of how our lives turn out.


Created by

Joshua Idegbere

I am Joshua Idegbere and this is my column. Stories with actionable tips to help you make the most of your life, career and relationships. Welcome!







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