How Your Circle Shapes You

You find that certain group.


Jomar Delos Santos

3 years ago | 3 min read

Lately, I’ve noticed that I’ve been starting many of my sentences with “I know it’s crazy, but–.”

For a long time, my manic tirades had nuggets of wisdom haphazardly buried in the excitement of the announcement. Friends would nod politely or give you the standard “For sure” as they wonder what chemical cocktail wired my brain to think insanity was the new norm.

I would speak about living abroad, escaping the 9–5, and living as a digital nomad. Even after exhausting all my different explanations about why this was possible, I soon realized how difficult it is to shift the world view of someone who has already decided that they want to stay put.

Some people just don’t recognize these concepts as possibilities. That’s okay. Whether a product of perspective, education, or core values, simply, this shit isn’t for everyone. I even had my own doubts at first.

Then you find that certain group. The ones who need no translation. People that not only engage with your ideas, not necessarily through the exact same set of beliefs, but through a lens of relatability that they can apply to all aspects of your thinking.

Ones who offer ideas themselves that are equally captivating but widely misunderstood. These ideas usually come as “aha” moments that feel like you’re making sense of the world around you. These people challenge you while fostering a need for inner and outer improvement. These are the people you should have in your circle.

The world is changing. We are living through a pandemic and a social revolution. Remote work is no longer a controversial statement.

Fear doesn’t hold much weight when you have people around you who understand that adaptability during these times is everything. Right now the world is telling me to adapt to remote life. There are more ways to make money than institutional work in 2020. The rise of the mobile workforce is telling me as much. The world is changing and so should your friends.

Let me explain what I mean:

This is not a call for you to let go of friends who do not share your core outlook on life. It is instead an encouragement to reach farther, till you find that same energy reflected in the people you surround yourself with on the daily.

Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

Many of our future business and career ventures will have you taking larger and greater risks as you chip away at a former mould that failed to serve you previously. Sometimes we make deliberate, purposeful chips, devoting time and self-care to the curation of a final, evolved image.

Sometimes emotion and fear get the best of us. We then sculpt with a heavy hand, but keep going, knowing that beauty lies in imperfection and in the transitionary experience.

The circle around you are steady guiding hands, reorienting you back onto the right path when outside perspectives fight for your attention. Your hand works reflexively, to reorient its “guiders” back to position when they themselves stray.

Think of these guiding hands as your close circle. The energy of uplifting each other is mutual. When surrounded by the right people, eventually everyone gets up. No matter what.

When you build your safety net, think about extending the idea of support to your friends. This seems so simple on the surface, but it is inherently radical if you think about all the people we consistently communicate with who do not reflect our goal lifestyle or respect the process of challenge and progress.

If you hold these supportive relationships close, you might find yourself without a bad habit in sight because you’ve built a system of accountability based on a mutual outlook towards progress and moving forward, together, with your lives.

But before we get too ahead of ourselves, let’s take the first step by looking at our own lives. Are we consistently surrounding ourselves and communicating with friends and colleagues that support the same energy we do? Maybe we’re constantly distracted. Or maybe we haven’t taken further steps because we fear change or feel guilty about losing the people who’ve supported us thus far.

But once we consider the true nature of how far we’ve strayed from our path, or even how far we’ve improved, our perspectives start to shift in a meaningful way. Old foundations crumble as they make room for the new and improved you.

Don’t be afraid, as this is all a part of the stressful and often messy mechanism of growth. And I know this all sounds crazy but — you can do it too.


Created by

Jomar Delos Santos

I write articles to clear your head (and mine).







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