Complaining Is Ruining Your Life

Stop playing the victim already.


Zachary Minott

3 years ago | 6 min read

Hearing someone complain is perhaps my biggest pet peeve.

I don’t want to hear it and I know no one else wants to hear it either. It’s irritating and it’s annoying.

Please stop.

The sad part is that everyone does it. The even sadder part is that they don’t even notice it. It comes with a lack of self-awareness and denial.

There are several situations where I’ve seen not only other people but even myself complain in:

  • Your boss assigned you a task that she expects you to get done within the next two days
  • Other people aren’t prioritizing your time
  • You aren’t being treated ‘fairly’ or as you think you should be treated
  • Your plans didn’t go as, well, planned
  • You have to do something that you don’t want to do
  • Your current situation isn’t what you want it to be
  • Your first-world problems

And the list goes on and on.

Truth is: The World Does Not Owe You A Damn Thing. I know, that maybe you think that if you complain and throw a tantrum you might get what you want or might see someone sympathizing with you to the point that they will give you more leeway or more attention.

Sorry not sorry, but you need to drop your ego and your ‘I am the victim’ mentality already.

Complaining Is A Disease That Infects Your Mind And Those Around You

Complaining doesn’t serve any justice in fixing your problems. If anything, the act actually inflates and exaggerates your problem to be perceived as something bigger than it really is. An illusion that wires your mind for negativity.

This serves to only create a negative domino effect rippling into a rabbit hole that traverses your mind down a path of constant negativity. You view one thing as negative and all of a sudden everything around you gains a negative aura around it. Everything begins to bother and irritate you more.

Your brain literally rewires the way you feel and view the world, taking away all the potential beautiful ways that you can actually perceive it.

It is also a natural human tendency to mirror the emotions of the people surrounding us whether we like it or not. It is an attempt for the brain to empathize with the emotions that you are observing.

Mob Mentality

It’s essential to become more aware of the emotions that you are conveying and putting out there. Your complaints not only hurt your own self but also those around you and vice versa.

As Newton’s Third Law of Motions states, “Every action has an opposite and equal reaction”.

What should you do instead? Focus on being more mindful of what you are saying. Show more gratitude for the moment and stop wallowing in your self-pity and complaining about unimportant things. You must increase your own self-awareness.

There exist people who are experiencing much worse conditions than you are.

On my community service trip to a small village in Panama, their living conditions are far below the standards of the most impoverished people in America. Yet, they always had smiles on their faces. They always had something to be grateful and happy about.

They never complained.

Learn from these people and understand that joy can be found in any situation.

“Like crying wolf, if you keep looking for sympathy as a justification for your actions, you will someday be left standing alone when you really need help.”
― Criss Jami, Killosophy

Complaining Is A Monolithic Waste Of Your Time And Energy

Complaining adds absolutely no value to yourself or anyone around you. All you’re doing is just adding fuel to the fire causing everything around you to burn. The problem will simply just linger there mockingly taunting you.

You are letting your problems overpower you.

Everyone has a problem that needs to be resolved and negatively verbalizing your frustrations will fail to do a single thing to change that. What you should do is instead focus on finding the solution.

This is very obvious but not enough people do it.

It’s the only way and your only hope at changing the situation for the better. Just tackle the problem head-on and focus on resolving it by taking affirmative action. Stop wasting your time.

Every single second that you spend complaining is just adding on to the time that you could have been taking action in resolving it.

Therefore complaining only extends the lifetime of your issue or whatever it is your complaining about just adding on to the energy-draining amount of stress and anger that you are experiencing.

There’s no way out of the situation anyways so the best possible thing you can do is change your perspective, take action, negotiate, or find a solution. So much depends on your approach, your attitude, and the way you react.

“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Complaining Is A Surefire Way To Get Yourself Viewed As A Weak Man

No one wants to hear your complaints. It’s a sign of weakness and a lack of self-control.

It shows me that you have no control over your emotions, that you’re very reactive, and that you deal with adversity very poorly and immaturely.

Would you want to follow a leader or listen to someone who is always finding problems in everything? Constantly bringing the negative to light?

Complainers fail to see the big picture, that is why they are ultimately portrayed as people incapable of leading and directing.

Any great leader understands that complaining doesn’t fix anything. They focus on the solution and direct productivity towards fixing problems and working around obstacles. They know that complaining serves as an enemy to progress.

Imagine if Elon Musk let himself be overcome by his lack of funding for Tesla and SpaceX? Imagine if Abraham Lincoln let himself be overcome by the country breaking out in Civil War? Imagine if Martin Luther King Jr. never fought to make things better? Imagine if Bill Gates consistently complained about the issues of global warming, disease, and famine? Imagine if J.K. Rowling allowed the plethora of rejection received from publishers plague her ability to keep pushing forward until Harry Potter was published?

All these people faced great deals of adversity or even recognized all that is wrong about the world. But they didn’t complain.

They saw the issues and did whatever it was in their power to change it, to settle with it, and to push the world towards a better, more peaceful, more progressive, and more innovative and imaginative space.

It is their ability to deal with, tackle, and ultimately overcome the problems they saw that’ll make their names ring forever in history. They united a world that is plagued by negativity and did everything they could to make it more positive.

“What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”― Maya Angelou, Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now

Final Thoughts

The grass isn’t greener, you have to deal with what you’ve got and learn to be grateful for what is in front of you. Don’t complain, instead, you should either change the way you think or do something about solving that problem.

Complaining adds no value to you or this world.
Complaining creates negative feedback loops that lead to even more complaining and negativity.
Complaining destroys your motivation.
Complaining wastes your valuable time.
Complaining destroys your image as a potential leader.
Complaining limits you from ever making a change.

So keep pushing forward and don’t allow yourself to be overcome by your issues and the negativity that creeps into your life. It is ultimately your ability to deal with that adversity that’ll make you a greater, more accomplished, and happier human being. Don’t let your complaints ruin your life.

Originally published on medium.


Created by

Zachary Minott







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