Deliberately becoming Yourself -Harshita Punjabi
Talks about the nuances of becoming your own true self in a world where people are busy copying each other.
Often heard this phrase?- “Be who you truly are” on pretty little postcards and even on motivational posts flocking up on your social media feed but ever wondered what does that actually mean in a deep sense? Starting straight out with a fact that when we look at successful individuals, not only materially successful, but successful in the sense that they accomplish whatever they set out to achieve, what we see is that the one thing they all have in common is that they have nothing in common.
The first step of becoming who you really are is to learn what you actually are and the journey of self-discovery requires a lot of self-introspection, patience, tranquility to question your own own thoughts and beliefs and where they stem from and it is only by watering the seed, that is the mind can we ensure the healthy growth of the tree that is the body and the surrounding enviornment that is the quality of our outer world. There are some aspects about us which are a bit difficult to change, the ones inherent in us by birth, transmitted via the DNA but again biological factors are just a starting point and not a limiting point.
A little bit of effort in the form of contemplation or meditation is required to unravel your signature strengths and the more we make use of these in our daily lives is when true happiness starts to unfold. It invokes a certain sense of hope when we are able to express ourselves freely and showcase an unfiltered version of ourselves and that gives our creative energy flow a boost and a certain meaning and purpose to life.
Even when young adults are forced into careers that are not aligned to their personal interests and ambitions and they are obligated to professionalise in something which they aren't meant for, it becomes a cause of self-loathing and general dislike towards life which even increases the risk of morbitidity. Such instances are evident by the increasing numbers of suicides in our country where people are not able to choose freely what they want to become in terms of career and even gender for that matter. An attempt to protect the queer and their rights is being made but law alone cannot compensate for the feeling of mass acceptance and love that the society as a whole needs to develop for such a community. They need a warm welcoming, a sense of belonging to the rest and deserve unconditional acceptance by the state and its people.
We all come complete and endowed with the gifts that the universe sends us with, and in fact the people who are afraid to be themselves are the ones who end up working for individuals who aren’t frightened of the same. It all boils down to which one YOU want to become. You always have a choice, so choose to become the most powerful and that happens when you constantly remind yourself of who you truly are, understand your values and stand by them no matter what and love your own self unconditionally.
The take on becoming you doesn’t mean continuing to operate with your flaws or being okay with them but acknowledging them, embracing them and accepting them while working upon them and trying to slowly change them into qualities that you feel are desirable and good for your own self. These days some professions, especially of actors have created unrealistic personality and behavioural standards built on the concept of audience pleasing resulting in some who are not so strong unfortunately remaining in a constant state of rejection. The society has failed to accept the uniqueness of every soul and is unwelcoming of behaviour that doesn't qualify their set standards with actors being on their radar 24/7 thanks to media which makes them conscious of their every breath and refrains them to be themselves.
Running around in a world where we are always seeking validation and appreciation from others rather than patting our ownselves on the back for the performance we have given, for coming so far through our own internal motivation, beliefs and hard work, that day isn't far when some wouldn't just want to undergo the needle to look like a particular person but would also like to supersede their personality too.
At the end of the day, what really matters is how much at peace you are with your true authentic self and not how much your worth weighs when looked through a relative lens. Another point worth making is that in this race of life (as we like to call it, though I would prefer the term journey), we are all taught that one needs to survive the tough competition that is all around us but from the perspective that I look at it is that life is not made for competition but for cooperation. The small part that we all have to play can be made more beautiful if only we would become a little less judgemental, a little less critical and a little more uplifting and a little more empathetic.
Every person is one of its kind, having gone through different experiences, having different traits good or bad; the test of strength lies not in how well you mask those bad traits or good ones which others perceive as not so desirable but to conquer your vices and transform them into virtues. The latter demands courage and determination whereas simply letting your perception be painted by others opinions is a sign of the weak.
Being easily influenced doesn't translate to the practice of withdrawing from people but the key is to observe but not absorb! The power to not let others' way of being shape your doings but exercising your own judjement through your own innnate wisdom is a skill worth developing! And of course, what a plain, dull and boring world would it be if all were to look alike, think alike and act alike. By adopting a persona inspired solely by the character of others, we end up creating a pseudo indentity which maybe successful but not satisfied, respected but restless and honorable but not happy.
This little piece that I have written, I hope it inspires everyone reading it even if in a very tiny way to “deliberately become you”.