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Deliberately Becoming Yourself

The article talks about how we are afraid to notice changes in ourselves. How an individual has a pre-conceived notion of themselves and why should they overcome this.


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Vishvesh Gokhale

2 years ago | 2 min read

Time flies! Yes, it’s true, absolutely true. No matter how old you are you will, at one point of time in your life, since that time has passed way too quickly, (unless you are in a prison!). More often than not, we come across instances where we think about how much we have changed as a person and often draw conclusions that result either in identifying what changed us or being in denial of the same. We might tell people we don’t know what changed us but we can’t keep it away from ourselves, we know that we know. A change in us is often taken in a negative sense, and as a matter of fact, people usually defend the statement – “You have changed”, assuming that change is not a favorable trait. Yet all of this being realized as people grow up, they have a fixed perception of who they are and how they do things, forgetting that we come across a considerable number of people, experiences, and stories that shape us in ways we do not even cautiously realize. And in the process of retaining the pre-conceived image of ourselves, we try to deliberately fit in the image. People regret changing into someone or something that doesn’t fit their image. And this, if thought of from a philosophical perspective, might sound disheartening. It is very natural to change with experiences and time and even though it is not very easy, all should try to give themselves some space to grow. They fail to realize that they are evolving rather than plain changing into something negative. There’s a possibility that an individual might have a minor identity crisis when noticing a change themselves, but that is quite a thing that can be and should be overcome to see the larger picture of growth. A snippet of this appears in front of people at different stages of their lives. A mid-life crisis is one of the closest phenomena that can be related to the question of “who am I” and “what am I doing in life?”. But more than that mid-life crisis is a more career-oriented dilemma as people now question their choices of working in a direction they thought they wouldn’t work or are not currently enjoying. To see both sides of the coin, people either question their previous choices because they think they made a decision that did not match with who they were back then, or they question their current work thinking do I belong to where I work? In both these ways, they indirectly question -are they being themselves.

To comment on what choices to be made seems inappropriate but to let people accept who they are and what they are evolving into is not too much to ask for. More than not judging others we all should focus on not judging ourselves. Let’s give some safe and healthy room for ourselves to grow into someone better and not be constrained to deliberately becoming ourselves.

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