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Find Happiness Your Way

Beyond expectations and social standards


Amy Christie

4 months ago | 3 min read


Do you see yourself living happily in a house that looks like your neighbor’s? Do you want to drive their car?Maybe your dreams are similar, maybe there’s a ton of differences setting you apart. Even if you think you want the things that define success, you need to remember one thing.

It’s still you living each experience. Even in an identical car, you wouldn’t feel the same. And if you had the same expensive phone, who you talk to has a greater impact on your mood than what you’re using.

Living your best life or using things for status?

Having the right things is not the same as being content and feeling fulfilled. It takes a lot more than a nice house, a great car, and shopping trips to give you that sense of belonging that makes you want to go on.

Even if it’s very attractive to get to the point where your family and friends commend your lifestyle and choices, there are consequences for borrowing standards that are not your own.

You might feel satisfied for a while, but when you go deeper to search for the meaning of it all, nothing will be there. Why?

Because you are stuck in someone else’s dream!

Sure, it’s not ideal to be the family’s wanderer and to be signaled as someone who doesn’t earn enough, or who doesn’t have an amazing career. But at the end of the day, it’s you who needs to be happy with the way
things are.

Put your expectations first, and inspiration will come

It’s risky, and it won’t always bring compliments. But you know what? It’s genuine, and it brings out your inner worth.

We are each unique and have different qualities. And letting yours get shadowed by trying to copy another life won’t make you successful. Just like copies are never as good as the real thing, you will only get half the happiness if that.

Pushing yourself to fulfill expectations that have nothing to do with who you are accomplishes nothing in the long run. Disappointment and confusion will spring up when you least expect it, and you could end up starting over even if you thought you had it all figured out.

Do yourself a favor and say “no” more often

Say it like you mean it too. Advice and instructions, whether they come in goodwill or as criticism, are only useful if you know how to react to them. Sift through all the ideas that other people offer and only go for what suits your purpose.

Don’t assume that things will go the same way just because you start on a similar career or business like one of your friends. Having the motivation and acumen for each choice is what makes the difference where success is concerned.

And if you only do something to please other people your chances are slim.

Search for real connection, not just useful networking

Small talk, taking part in social events, getting to talk to people who could further your social circle will do you good. However, small talk shouldn’t be your only focus. It’s not motivating to simply scrape the surface.

Connecting to other people and starting friendships or mentorships will make you feel happy, and you might get the right input to keep growing on a personal and professional level.

Keep confrontations out of your home front

It doesn’t mean that your family must agree with everything you say. Differences of opinion and the freedom to say what you think is important to feel valued. The point is to avoid arguments, criticism, and spreading out negative energy.

The way you go out facing obstacles is impacted by how you feel at home. Family and friends reshape who you are even when you don’t know it and reacting badly to suggestions from your work colleagues or manager often come from a feeling of disappointment at home.

Do your best to stay positive and enjoy the little things with the people you love.

If this was your last day here, would want to spend it frowning or smiling because it’s snowing, and your pets might just learn how to make an original snowman?

Photo credit: Unsplash


Created by

Amy Christie


Passionate Writer and Journalist

Journalist| Poet |Blogger: Always striving to bring out the positive and create meaningful connections







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