At the beginning of every relationship, men and women test each other. Sometimes it’s conscious other times; it’s subconscious.

We test our partners to know how they feel about us. To know if they are genuinely attracted to us, or we are assuming things that aren’t there.

Whatever the reason, we must bear in mind that how we respond to these tests will set the entire tone of the relationship.

So it is important to understand what’s going on when you are being tested and what you can do to respond appropriately to build attraction and be fully respected in the way that you deserve to be.

Sexual test

In this test, the man wants to know how quickly he can sleep with you. He will be curious to know what percentage of the relationship will be spent fulfilling his sexual needs instead of building an intimate relationship.

If he’s escalating physically by touching your intimate zones — tries to kiss you or put his arm around your waist — or if he says things that are flirtatious or sexual before you meet him or in the early stage of meeting him, that’s a red flag.

If a guy is not respecting your personal space within the first week of meeting him, that’s a good sign he’s sexually testing how easy it is to get you into his bed.

Some guys will pressure you if they feel you are moving too slow. If he’s not making you feel comfortable waiting to have sex when you are ready, then he isn’t the guy you should be with.

Sarcasm test

I once dated a guy who made fun of how I chew gum. Sometimes how I talk, and then he will laugh and say it’s a joke. I’m old enough to know when someone insults me and when to take a joke as a joke.

When the guy you are dating says something “not so nice” and passes it off as a joke, he is basically testing how you will respond to his digressions.

And if you respond by laughing along with him instead of calling him out, you are training him to disrespect you anyhow he likes.

You must communicate your boundaries, so you don’t become a pushover- someone he can easily tramp.

You have to think about your values and know when they are being violated because sometimes sarcasm is a passive-aggressive way to communicate with a partner.

Desirability test

I have a friend who dates a club owner. He only responds to her text around the hours of 2 am.

My friend’s boyfriend never initiates a text or chat. Even when he calls, it’s usually brief. He’s either rushing off to somewhere and decide to return her call, or he is going to be out of network coverage and wanted to inform her beforehand.

He hardly spends time with my girlfriend, and what annoys me most is that she continues to wait on him to step up.

One day asked one of my guy friends why a guy would text around a specific time of the day?

From what my guy friend said, if a guy replies to your message at specific times, it’s usually because he’s buzzed. When he’s out and about looking for an easy way to have a good night is when he remembers you.

If a guy doesn’t treat you as his priority, then it’s obvious he doesn’t think you’re worth his time. He doesn’t fancy you enough to sacrifice his time in making you feel loved. And that’s a sign you are wasting your time and energy on the wrong man.

There is no way of knowing if a guy is serious about you without reading meaning to his words and actions.

Pay attention to how he treats you day by day. Feel free to communicate what interests you, and don’t be afraid to disagree with what you don’t like.

Couples who display a significant amount of courage have a strong bond in the relationship and do not feel the need to test one another.

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff 👉