Learning To Trust Your Emotions
We all are born with a certain amount of intuition. But trusting emotion is a bit different.
We all are born with a certain amount of intuition. The problem is, from a very young age we are often told to ignore our feelings or that our feelings are just wrong. Much like force-feeding an infant can cause the child to start ignoring their natural hunger control mechanism, it's the same with emotions. The more we have been taught to push down our feelings, the more likely we are not going to trust our emotions.
You Get a Feeling in Your Gut That Something Is Wrong
Everyone has a natural ability to know if something is not right in any given situation. The problem is, over time you may have pushed down those feelings as wrong or even crazy. You meet a new person and for no known reason you feel like something is off. You talk to someone and believe they are lying. While you may not want to react on these instances that arenít cause for immediate danger, keep an open mind and keep your eyes open. Chances are you'll find out that you're right more than you're wrong.
The Hairs on the Back of Your Neck Stand Up
Every human is born with a "flight or fight" effect. Sometimes the hairs on the back of your neck will stand up, or you get prickly and feel like running. Most of the time, you should pay attention to this feeling. Often, you'll find that when you feel that way a spider is nearby or you are in serious danger. Do not ignore these nagging feelings, ever. Even if you're wrong, its best to be safe. (Cue SpiderMan theme song) :-)
You Feel a Tug to Help Someone
T.V. commercials use these emotions when they want you to send money to save the starving children in Africa or donate to save abused animals. The feelings you feel when watching those commercials are normal and you should respect them. When you feel compelled to help people, don't push it down. Freely offer help because to deny your feelings about this will cause you to feel bad about yourself. Regret is not a fun company to keep.
You Feel Pulled to Do Something Different
You're sitting in your cubicle bored to tears wanting desperately to do something different but you are afraid to change. If you feel pulled in a new direction, take the time to give it some real consideration instead of blowing it off. Bill Gates didn't allow nagging doubt to stop him from becoming so successful. He's not doing too bad for a guy making 6 figures ;-)
You Feel Confident in Your Abilities
When you are feeling confident, don't push those feelings down. You have a right to feel good about what you are doing and to feel capable. When you feel good about yourself it's not misplaced pride or bragging. So often, people (especially women) are taught from a young age not to boast about their abilities. This puts young women at a disadvantage from their male counterparts when it comes to jobs and fair pay. Allow yourself to feel confident when it's appropriate (meaning don't be cocky...that's the dad in me). I'm a father of a very strong daughter and she knows exactly what she wants, plans things out and is charging after it. Do you think for a second I want to see anything stop her from success or to tell her to hold back?? Heck no!! "GO FOR IT!!!!! Go the right way, honor God in all you do sissy and watch those doors open up for you! Get in the flesh (self-seeking, self-promoting) and things won't go exactly the way you thought they would." (That was a little dad to daughter talk of mine, my daughter, so, if you want to be temporarily adopted for that yourself, I'm available).
Make Your Environment Comfortable
Emotions need a safe environment to be felt fully. You're your own best friend. Only you can create the right environment that is safe for you to feel the emotions that you have. Make your home safe for yourself and safe for your entire family. As Dr. Phil says, "home should be a safe place to fall."
Acknowledge the Different Emotions You Experience
Don't push away emotions that you have about drugs, alcohol or food. Instead, allow yourself to experience a full range of emotions as appropriate. Of course, you do have to show some measure of propriety in public, but you can express appropriate emotions in appropriate places as they come to you.
Try to Name the Emotions Others Are Having
In order to improve your capacity for #empathy, practice naming and expressing the emotions that other people are having. People who can show great empathy to others, even if they haven't gone through the situation themselves, have much happier lives than those who cannot relate to other human beings at all. You don't have to be homeless yourself to understand how truly demoralizing the experience is. Lately, one person I follow has brought the word #Empathy to the forefront with his new wine brand. But he has been passionately speaking about it for years. He's not exactly the cleanest of speakers I listen to, but his heart is gold. Thanks, #GaryVee
Write Down Your Feelings
Keep a feelings journal for yourself to help you process different feelings that you are having, and different feelings that you note that other people have about situations in life. Your journal can help you work through emotions in a healthy way, as well as give you something to look back at when you are having trouble. Who knows, it just might be a book one day that can change the lives of people around the world!!
Test Your Judgment Accuracy and Go for It
If you are afraid to go with your gut due to having buried that skill from a young age, just pick one thing to test. For example, if you feel like you need to switch jobs, start job hunting NOW! Like right now! As soon as you're done with this article. It won't hurt to go on some job interviews to test your gut checkability. You might find the job of a lifetime! Or if you feel strange, like running away from a situation, go ahead and go for it. Key phrase today: #GoForIt!
As you learn to trust your emotions by practicing actually feeling them, you'll get better at discerning what's right and wrong. Those emotions can become more of your friend than they ever were intended to be your enemy.
If something I said today touched your heart, please, share your comments. If you'd like to investigate what it looks like to be in a coaching relationship with me, I'd love for you to take that step!! It won't hurt, I promise! Let's talk about it. DM me on #LinkedIn. You can visit my profile page for all of my information as well. There are even a few folks there who say they think I'm pretty good at it!! I'd love to add yours!