How To Overcome Ego And Stop It From Getting In Way Of Your Happiness

By living in ego, you block yourself from new opportunities and experiences. Also, with ego comes a flood of negative emotions like revenge, jealousy, unhealthy competition, anger, and vengeance. It affects your relationships adversely and makes your personal life complicated and stressful.


Dr. Roopleen

9 months ago | 6 min read

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How many times have you wanted to do something only to hold yoursel ffrom doing it because your ego got in the way?

It has happened more times with most people than they would like to admit.

Anyway, the idea is not to bruise the ego but to show the mirror and make you realize how this simple (negative) trait runs your life and hurts your chances of living a peaceful and happy life.

What is ego

Ego, in simple words, is your opinion about yourself — what you think and how you regard yourself. Ego is, therefore, your self-concern and sense of worth.

Everyone has an ego; the strength, however, varies. Some possess a big ego, while others have a relatively small one.

The ego is not all bad. It’s good to be conscious of one’s identity of “self.” A moderate ego can be of great advantage. It makes you courageous, enables you to face your fears, and helps form healthy habits.

When ego compliments your other personality traits like determination, willpower, and resilience, it can work wonders for you. However, it’s when people go overboard with the ego and have their heads swelled up that it poses a problem.

Examples of inflated ego

  • Thinking you’re always right
  • Assuming you’re the only person that matters
  • You have an opinion on everything
  • Considering you make everything happen
  • Going into denial mode when you make mistakes
  • Regarding yourself to be the center of all important things 
  • Everything is someone else’s fault
There’s a thin line between confidence and overconfidence, and most people don’t realize when the self-assuredness changes into pride and a sense of superiority.

Haven’t we all come across people who wear their attitude on their sleeve and consider themselves very important. They have their ego all over the place.

How the ego problem affects your life

The thing with ego is that it proves to be more limiting than empowering in the long run. Sometimes it’s difficult to draw the line, and you don’t know when it crosses to the other side, and the exaggerated sense of self becomes arrogance.

Once you let your ego grow, it takes over your life and lets every success go to your head.

The ego becomes a problem when it makes you inflexible, blind to your mistakes and faults, and act superior to others. You tend to complain excessively and blame others around you for everything that happens in your life.

By living in ego, you block yourself from new opportunities and experiences. Also, with ego comes a flood of negative emotions like revenge, jealousy, unhealthy competition, anger, and vengeance. It affects your relationships adversely and makes your personal life complicated and stressful.

When you act driven by ego and take decisions based on that, it can sabotage all areas of your life, including work, relationships, and personal life.

The truth is that in the wholeness of the Universe, you’re just a speck, puny, insignificant, and perishable.

How to get rid of ego 

Overcoming ego is challenging because it involves a change of mindset. 

Here are 10 effective ways to keep ego under check and allow yourself to enjoy a happy life.

1. Let go of the need to control

People who think too highly of themselves have a compulsive need to control all — people, situations, and everything in between.

They do so because, in their mind, they’re convinced there’s no one better than them, and they are the smartest. Nothing could be farther from the truth. While every person has unique talents and strengths, they have weaknesses and limitations as well. No one is perfect.

To drop your ego, release all control and give others a chance. Accept other people can also be talented and better suited for the job.

When you delegate work and allow others to unleash their full potential, they have a chance to prove themselves and add value to the work entrusted to them.

2. Self-reflect

Looking back at your life, reviewing your behavior, and analyzing your actions can give you an insight into your conduct.

Self-examination will pinpoint the times when you lost chances, missed out on opportunities, overestimated yourself and kept yourself from working hard, pushed loved ones away, and ruined friendships all because of ego hassles.

Contemplation will help clarify your thoughts, identify behavior patterns and make you realize where and how ego messed up things in your life. It’ll keep you on guard and prevent making the same mistakes again.

3. Keep yourself on the learning mode

An increased sense of pride comes with the know-it-all attitude, when you assume you are the best and above the rest.

An easy way to curb your ego is to keep your glass empty and put yourself in learning mode.

No matter how much you wise and knowledgeable you may have become, there’s always room for improvement and a vast reservoir of knowledge out there to enrich yourself.

4. Practice forgiveness

There will always be toxic people who will mess up with you, rub you the wrong way, offend you, knowingly or unknowingly say hurtful things about you, or be mean to you. If you keep a count of their rude behavior, you’ll spend your entire life settling scores and teaching people a lesson.

Your ego and negative attitude will distract you from your goals and add to your unhappiness. You can never harbor negative feelings for others and live in bliss. So the best way is to forgive nasty people, give them the benefit of the doubt and leave them to their devices.

5. List down your failures

Success builds the ego, and it can become addicting. So when you see your ego soaring high, take measures to control it.

One easy way to tame your ego is to remind yourself of your failures.

Everyone, no matter how successful they have been, had their share of failures. Revisiting the failures and seeing the setbacks in retrospect will make you realize you’re neither perfect nor infallible. Also, remembering how you thought you did your best yet didn’t make it, will clear your mind on how powerless and helpless one can be.

Using failures as lessons can prevent your ego from running rampant, especially when you’ve achieved success.

6. Talk to someone who has lost a loved one

Many people take things for granted and live in their world of ego and self-importance.

The reality of life is, it is unpredictable, and much of what happens is beyond your control.

Talking to someone who’s lost a loved one will shake you, connect you with reality and make you realize how fickle life is; someone could be here today and gone the next moment.

It will help keep your ego in check, help develop humility and look at life as a precious gift.

7. Read about the highly successful people

When you have a tendency to get drowned in your greatness, feel you’ve accomplished it all and have arrived, it’s wise to acquaint yourself with the insanely successful people.

You can read books about them, watch videos, follow them on social media and get to know about the life of great people. Most of them have reached the pinnacles of success and left a mark in their respective fields with their diligent and hard work.

Even after reaching great heights, these highly accomplished people have their heads on their shoulders, maintain their humility, and are focused on getting better every single day. Their example will inspire you and help you shed your ego.

8. Reach out to others

People who live in their bubble of ego are the ones who are self-absorbed and self-centered.

To overcome your ego, step out of the imaginary world of self-importance, take time out to volunteer and show your generosity. Express concern and understand other people's problems.

Reaching out and connecting with the needy in their difficult time will expand your awareness of how much suffering there is in the world. Charity work will dissolve your ego by making you realize how lucky and blessed you are to live a privileged life.

9. Do something creative

Foster creativity in your life and lose yourself by allowing yourself to experiment, learn new things, and explore the possibilities.

Creativity helps you connect with your deeper self and help transcend the ego. Besides, it will help you develop innovative ideas and support a great deal in problem-solving.

10. Live in gratitude

Gratitude is the practice of acknowledging the positive aspects of your life. It enables you to see beyond yourself, appreciate the contribution of others in your life and the value they add to you.

A sense of thankfulness and awareness of what you already have and what is working well for you in life, therefore, will keep you grounded and humble and won’t let ego take over you.

In Conclusion

As with everything in life, moderation is the key. And this applies to ego more than anything else.

Either you can control your ego, or it will run the show. If you allow ego to overpower you, it’ll take a toll on all areas of life, including your work, relationships, and peace of mind.

The intention of keeping your ego under check is not to hurt yourself self esteem but to prevent yourself from riding on its wings.

Living in your head keeps you trapped and keeps you from living a happy life. Dropping your ego may be difficult, but it is truly liberating.

“To live in the light of a new day and an unimaginable and unpredictable future, you must become fully present to a deeper truth – not a truth from your head, but a truth from your heart; not a truth from your ego, but a truth from the highest source.” —Debbie Ford


Created by

Dr. Roopleen

Author of 6 books | 5x Top writer on Medium | 260k views on Quora | Personal development coach







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