We are coming to the end of our series on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. In the most recent blog for this series, we looked at love and belonging. We saw how vital it was to have this through our lives. And that need can only come from others.

Well, here is another need that is essential for our fulfilment. According to Maslow, it is one of the highest needs we can acquire, and it is the need for esteem. If you believe you do not have to care about what others think, you may encounter a paradigm shift reading this.

What people think of you is more important than you think. We tend to see not caring about what people think as strong-willed and authentic. However, to ensure we receive esteem, we need recognition and praise from other people. After all, we can not believe we are valuable if we have not added value to anyone.

Esteem is the gift we receive for adding some value to someone. Esteem can be negative because many may get recognition and praise for bad things. For example, people who create content talking down other individuals will get praise from those who hold the same view.

However, the esteem Maslow is addressing here is positive and takes a lifetime to receive. So, read on to learn more about the esteem Maslow is talking about.

What People Think of You is a Vital Measure For Esteem

No matter where your esteem comes from, it is always dependent on others views. Even self-esteem comes from others. Yes, self-esteem is all about the respect we have for ourselves, but those views come from the influences we have around us.

Any esteem we have in our lives is somewhat earned. When we realise the value we bring to the world through others feedback, we have the right to up our esteem. That is because we know that our character and work is of value to others around us.

Therefore, you may not accept being spoken down to because of the esteem you have gained. You should not allow people to disrespect you. However, for some people, it is harder to reject it. And that is because the view of themselves is low. I have found that those who have a low view of themselves have often not done much to carry a high view.

It is all well and good saying I deserve more from life. But if your actions do not follow, then how can you demand respect and reward. Whether we like it or not, to gain high esteem, we need confirmation from others that we are valuable and worth something.

Some of those confirmations come from having a good family and friendship circle. And others can come from the day job you do with people appreciating your work. There is a reason why esteem is above love and belonging needs. It is because we need communities to belong to so that we can add value to them. Once we have done that, our esteem follows.

Growing in Esteem

Two things are vital when it comes to growing in esteem. One is dependent on your self-evaluation of what you believe is valuable, and the other on other people. You will find that when you do things you believe are valuable, your self-esteem grows. But self-esteem is not the only thing that matters.

However, one of the first things you can do is begin doing things you think could make society a better place. Write articles like me or do work that you care about a lot. When you complete these tasks, you are actively working on things that make you feel valuable. And that helps the development of yourself.

The second thing you must consider is how others respond. Doing things that make you feel valuable can only go so far. You can only know if it is producing good fruit based on the response of others.

Therefore, work on tasks that are valued by yourself and others. It can take a long time to find the thing that encompasses both of these two things. For most of our lives, we focus on ourselves, yet esteem requires more than that.

The best way to start is to repeat things that you feel are valuable to yourself and others. Over time those things may change, but doing them will lead to growth in your esteem little by little.

Closing Thoughts

When it comes down to it, what you think about yourself is the most important thing. After all, with no self-belief or determination, you can not achieve anything. However, when it comes to our overall happiness, we should not underestimate the importance of others.

We have already seen the importance of others in love and belonging, so we should not chuck that under the bus when it comes to esteem. With the right people in your life, you can receive the esteem needed to take you to the final stage of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs that we will look at next.

But for now, continue to build your esteem through doing tasks that you care about and others value.

A Useful Thought.