HOW TO SAY NO TO YOUR CHILD
Saying NO can be very simple if we do not feel guilty about it.
As children We have been taught that there are 3 magic words...
Sorry..please and thankyou.
But there is an additional magic word when u become a parent..a word which parents find very hard to use . And that magic word is 'no'
Somehow we have begun to believe that as parents of this generation we need to pander to every whim and fancy of our child. If we refuse to give some things for whatever reason, we are failing as parents or we are bad parents.
Some parents go to the extent of thinking that saying no will have a negative impact on the children in the long run.
Contrary to that infact, a simple NO, helps raise w much healthier and happier child who learns to build and respect boundaries.
Children always feel safer with boundaries. They want to know what they can and cannot do, because they are not born with the information of what is safe and unsafe for them. They gauge this from the parents reactions. If parents are extremely permissive and allowing every whim and fancy the child grows up believing he can get everything he wants and is entitled to everything.
The need to earn it or work towards it or wait for it is lost.
Entitled kids give trouble at home , school and even cause trouble in their personal relationships. They often display a bad attitude and unacceptable behaviour, like. Throwing a fit in a public place or hitting and screaming at the parents till the parents give in.
This is us as parents training our kids to be bullies.
Saying NO can be very simple if we do not feel guilty about it and let go off the self judgement of u being a bad parent.
A few ways to say no would be
- Look into the child eyes and hear them out.
- f what the child is asking for is unreasonable, keep a calm tone of voice , maintain eye contact and say "no".
- Please explain the logical reason of why you are saying no.. and the reason cannot be "because I am your parent and I said so". That's just the parent being a bully.
-If the child throws a tantrum, tell them you love them very much but this behaviour is not acceptable. Let them continue to cry or sulk and walk away from the scene.
-If they blackmail you by not eating, insist twice and yet if it continues let them go hungry for the daym it will do their digestive system some good but do not give in.
-Pay attention to what you are saying NO to. Have negotiable and non negotiable terms in your head. If your child wants to play 30 mins more with his friends, it can be a negotiable.. but if he is asking for something that could put him at risk or unaffordable by the family, that would be a non negotiable.
-Please accept the fact that by saying no, you are being a responsible parent and it is only in the highest good of your child