We Are Screwing up Positivity.

"Happiness only real when shared."


Khen Ramos

3 years ago | 5 min read

Positivity is a big word and nowadays, everyone is doing it. It’s a new social trend and just like any social trend, it’s being blown up into desperate proportions. It's being done by desperate people in hopes of reaching out to the masses, stating that they are happy, even though they're not.

In this desperate shout into the horizon, they blur the real meaning of positivity for the sake of popularity.

In situations like this, positivity loses its meaning, and as time goes on, it loses its essence. It’s clear that we are ruining the very core of positivity amidst all the popularity it is getting and it is certainly becoming a problem.

As individuals we must learn what it really means to be positive and what it really means to grow.

There will always be suffering in purpose and purpose in suffering, and positivity doesn't only aim to make people happy, but rather, it aims to make people feel accepted, even if they are in their lowest point.

In this modern world, many things dictate our behavior, actions, and very own feelings. We must learn to idealize what it means to be positive and understand it to its very core.
It is a Shared Experience

Don't just live positivity, share positivity.

Positivity works in interpersonal relationships; it blooms in interpersonal relationships, and it finds meaning in interpersonal relationships.

Positivity cannot find its way to you or to anyone else if it stays secluded. This means that positivity does not inherently come from inside you but from your own circle. It is a shared effort and it is a shared experience.

"Happiness only real when shared."
-Christopher McCandless aka "Alexander Supertramp"

People tend to find positivity within themselves and by doing this, it forces them to do things they don’t want to do. Being positive requires a healthy and meaningful relationship with others and it will not work if you seclude yourself from the world.

Christopher McCandless's journey Into the Wild, has taught him much about isolation. He has found himself in the Alaskan Wilderness, but also lost himself within it. In the end, before he has this world for another, he saw what it really meant to be happy. And this could not be done by being isolated from the world, but rather, by being a part of it.

He yearned for his family that he has left. He yearned for the friends he has met, and he yearned to be a part of the world once again. If you have found positivity learn to share it, because much like what Christopher McCandless has said about genuine happiness, positivity must also be shared.

Positive people are not always happy. They get sad and unhappy at times, and they don’t force themselves to be happy at any given moment, nor do they choose to repress the feeling by keeping themselves busy with other things. They know how to accept what they feel and they know how to accept the situation, and with acceptance, comes a clear path to redemption.

Acceptance is the reason why we shouldn’t push toxic positivity to others. Toxic positivity is the kind of positivity in where we don’t let other people acknowledge what they are feeling. Acceptance is key to genuine positivity and owning your feelings and knowing them will always be the right path to walk towards positivity.

In William Glasser’s book, The Choice Theory, he briefly discussed as to how we must be able to own our own choices and to accept them as they were. Choice is acceptance of action, whether we like it or not. We must be able to accept our situation if we ever want to grow and flourish as human beings. Positivity is not just choosing mere happiness every day, it is choosing to make an active choice every day.

For positive people, once they know that something has completely set them back, but they also know how to get back up. It is through accepting the unforeseeable circumstances in their lives, they get a sense of clarity and knowing that they are fighting a bigger fight than anything else they have encountered in their lives.

And through this understanding, they start to force themselves to fight even harder.

“The Happy Shall Inherit the Earth”
Today, happiness has become a race. People are traveling for social media expectations, people are buying luxury items for the cost of their own well-being and soul, and people enter into unloving relationships just for the fun of it, all for the sake of “happiness”.

Erich Fromm discussed that when people start to define their worth through material means, people would then turn into depression.

This has become truer than ever. We could see this everywhere, and at some point, we are a victim of this false and temporary happiness.

Cases of depression are on an all-time high, and if you look hard enough, you’ll see that depression cases rise alongside market values for many industries across the world.

The need for appreciation in social media sites has become the new currency for satisfaction and happiness, both unconsciously and consciously. And we are addicted to it. We are screwing up what it means to be happy and this is why the happy shall not inherit the earth.

It is those who are flourishing that will inherit the earth. One of the greatest traits of those who flourish is that they are true to themselves, no matter what the cost.

They carry their principles within their hearts, and their purpose within their souls, and this why they could achieve pure happiness and in time, true positivity. They are those who could find happiness everywhere because they don’t expect anyone else to give it to them.

They have their own compass to follow without the need for others to point which way is north. They are comfortable with their own unhappiness and suffering, and they do not choose to ignore it and repress it, but rather, be inspired by it. Positivity has become a part of their being and essence up to a point that many fear it, simply because they do not understand.

One Way Road to Positivity

We're on our way there.

We have lost our way on the road of positivity. We force into others as to what we perceive of it and in turn, we hope we get something back. Just like how love is never fair, positivity doesn’t run on terms of fairness and equality, either. We must always perceive that we always have more to share and that others don’t have a similar luxury as we do.

Expectations don’t run with positivity but hope does. We should all continue hoping that one day, life will get better, and the dreams we have will be reached, even if the sky we know starts to fall, because it is through this hope, we idealize ourselves to become positive.

Always remember that positivity is a shared experience that starts with your heart and ends with your soul. It is encompassing the thresh hold of human existence because by being positive, human beings are no longer merely surviving, they start living.

It is revolutionizing a new path for psychology, and as we become aware of it, we must take caution in handling this phenomenon, because just like any path towards a goal, we might take a wrong turn along the way.

Originally published on medium.


Created by

Khen Ramos







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