“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” — Keith Ferrazzi

We live in an exciting time in history now. With the rapid development in technology, we can do things people a generation before us could only imagine.

One such example is how we communicate. Not long ago, your circle used to be the people in your region — Family, friends from the neighborhood, classmates from school, and colleagues from work.

Of course, you had a few people connected to others outside of that parameter. Still, those people were far and few in between — executives, salespeople, vagabonds, and that one guy that’s been everywhere.

Essentially your circle was small.

Nowadays, your social circle can be worldwide.

Think about that. You can be friends with anyone in the world right now. If you have a business idea, you are not confined locally; you can now work globally.

Incredible right?

With that said, it is now more important than ever to seek to connect rather than to impress.

When you seek to “connect,” the potential relationship can start on a genuine foundation — Where that leads, who knows? But that relationship can blossom into an alliance, business, or possible friendship.

When seeking to “impress,” the relationship can come off as phony and one-sided. It is not looking to help genuinely; it’s looking at the relationship only in terms of “What’s in it for me?” and that's never a great exchange.

I attended a small tech summit in Toronto four years ago and met and connected with some interesting people. However, one fellow left an impression on me — a bad one.

You could spot him a mile away — he was in a loud suit, very bombastic voice, and quite a character. As if he was the literal stereotype of the used car salesman and oozing arrogance.

When you came across him, you could tell he was on a solo mission. His immediate questions were, “What do you do?” and “Who do you know?” and even if it got that far — he was quick to cut you off to tell you about his “successes.”

I excused myself because I can only tolerate bullshit for so long; Five minutes in his presence was enough as his vibe rubbed me the wrong way — plus, I wanted to actually connect with others.

Before I left the summit, I observed this fellow's interactions with attendees. I was curious to see if it was me giving bad vibes, but I could see a few people reacting the same way as I did.

I believe one of the best people skills you can develop is a genuine interest in another person. With this fellow, you could see he was only there to keep score.

I left that tech summit with a valuable life lesson; “Always seek genuine connections instead of seeking to impress.”

If that approach worked for that fellow, then so be it; for me, that is not how I would want to be perceived.

Seeking to connect, not to impress, also applies online — whether through LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter. I prefer to have a few genuine connections that are mutually beneficial than having thousands of one-sided connections.

Suppose I come off as a show-off or braggart who is unconcerned about other people. Why would someone want to know me? I wouldn’t.

When I catch myself trying to “impress” someone, I think of the famous Zig Ziglar quote, “You can have everything in life you want — if you help enough people get what they want,” and it humbles me.

After all, the size of your network doesn’t really matter — it is the quality of your network that counts.

So next time you come across someone of interest, online or offline — seek to connect, not impress.

Take Care