In high school, I remember feeling insanely turned on by my first serious boyfriend. Even when the relationship turned sexual, I had no idea how I was feeling. The indisputable mix of curiosity, intrigue and supercharged hormones I quickly called love.

Confusing lust or general excitement for the emotional connection and love are mistakes many of us make early on. How can we distinguish ourselves when most of us don’t understand our sexuality at all?

Add to this the fact that women’s sexual arousal is less simple and varied than men’s, that the discussion of personal sexuality remains rather taboo, and that female sexuality has only been studied quite recently and its mystery is, well, not a mystery.

Even with the aforementioned opportunities against us, maturity and experience often bring clarity. Ideally, we learn a lot about our body and its superior abilities to become aroused and to experience amazing and rewarding pleasure.

We learn what turns our boisterous fires on and off, and hopefully share great sexual intimacy not only with ourselves, but also with trusted partners. Love and lust don’t always have to go together, but it’s really great when they do!

“Some women are not fully aware of their arousal, especially if they have not learned to fully embrace their sexuality.”

How To Know When Your Woman Is Craving Your Bananas

It’s a universally accepted fact that women are complicated, confusing beings who, in spite of talking incessantly, rely a lot on non-verbal communication to convey their inner-most thoughts. So it’s left to you to unravel the mystery of their look, sigh or grump.

1. If she breathes heavily

It’s mostly a dead giveaway and impossible to mask or fake. When the body is aroused and turned on, breathing becomes more urgent and faster.

Involuntary moans are emitted as the air swiftly makes its way through her vocal cords. The heart rate increases as the body prepares for an orgasm, forcing the internal organs to request more oxygen. A pounding heartbeat and urgent breathing should let you know you are on the right track.

However, if she resumes a slow, soothing breathing rhythm immediately after a big orgasm, you’ve just witnessed a big spectacle.

2. She’s uneasy beside you

When one body responds enthusiastically to another, it promotes closeness. If she creaks or pushes you, tries to hold you or hug you, her body language is just as inviting as it gets. Curly toes are another good indicator, but try to catch a casual look.

If the movement is subconscious, it is probably real. However, if she’s there waiting for you to do all the hard work, she’ll likely get a little bit of excitement. You need to regroup and reboot. Try to change positions or focus on her erogenous zones to get her attention.

3. She indirectly opens up to you

Depending on her comfort level and personality type, she can use words to subtly or overtly mean “I want sex!” If there is confusion about your level of arousal, talking is perhaps the most powerful tool for clarification. When getting your partner excited, make sure to keep your words positive. “I’d love to see you naked right now” will work a lot better than a frustrated one: “Can’t you say I’m horny?”

4. She’s touchy and feely

This one also varies depending on personality, a topic I’ll probably explore here shortly. Either way, touch is a powerful, natural, and almost involuntary way of expressing sexual desire. Touching a partner in intimate places — areas not often touched by others, such as the inner thigh, or even touching their hand or cheek, often shows excitement. As we venture into the crotch area.

If you’re like most men that like to wear a shirt, pants and sneakers, women, especially when she is into you, will come around you in her most attractive form.

5. She gets restless

Many of us naturally arch our backs during arousal, which exaggerates especially sensual body parts, such as our back and breasts. It also creates a kind of ‘come into me’ chemistry that can turn on both parties. All of this can happen during foreplay, sex and even casual conversations like chatting with your lover.

6. Moist and swollen lips

As we’ve discussed in Girl Boner Physiology: The Female Body Turned On, our bodies work all kinds of magic in the form of extra moisture and swelling as we move from arousal to love and orgasm. Ooh-la-la. These changes are caused by increased blood flow to our genitals and brains that signal us to prepare for kissing, hugging, sex, and more.

7. Flaunts her boobs

You’ve seen that before: unbuckles her hair clip, bend over while talking to you to show your cleavage, wear that v-neckline with a push-up bra, yoga pants or tie-on just to seduce you, even in an informal meeting, this can only mean that it is locked inside you.

If you’re like most men that like to wear a shirt, pants and sneakers, women, especially when she is into you, will come around you in her most attractive form. This means that every detail is carefully considered, from her dress to her fragrance. So appreciate her efforts and take action.

8. Her eyes says it all

According to a study, there is a reason why Hungry Eyes is one of the most sexually arousing songs. Our fantasies and desires can only be shown to us — more for some of us than for others. Meanwhile, if a loved one looks at us, we want it even more. Our pupils can dilate as our arousal grow.

Finally

Just talking about sex and sensuality can be exciting — the way it should be! If you haven’t started talking to your partner about the ins and outs of your sexual relationship, or if you haven’t fully explored your own sexual needs and desires, there is no better time than now.

Start where you feel comfortable, and take baby steps or bigger steps when you are ready, realizing that sexuality is a journey and an adventure that we should live our entire lives.

Remember what works for one woman may never work for another, but the idea is to listen to the feedback her body language gives you. If you think you are out of sync, take a break and try something new.

Avoid sticking to a routine or becoming predictable. Spice things up with experimentation, teasing and seducing your partner, and keep an eye out for fake moans and forced emotions.

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker and fitness coach who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. My newsletter & more cool stuff 👉 https://jesblake85.medium.com/membership