Three Paradigms I Traded for a Growth Mindset

Success is a paradigm shift away


Caty Lee

3 years ago | 5 min read

Paradigms determine your values, beliefs, and assumptions about the way reality works. They govern the choices you make and the results you get.

Without active cultivation, people accept the paradigms represented in their surroundings. This is why they suffer.

People get brainwashed by mass media, public school, churches, and advertisements. Everyone’s persuading you. All acts of communication are instruments for getting under your skin.

If you don’t replace society’s programming with your own, you’re accepting mediocrity.

Subconscious mind reprogramming allows you to change the wiring of your perspectives. In this way, you take forward-moving action without resistance.

If you can identity your paradigms, hallelujah. You’re already better positioned for success than most of the population.

I’ve compiled three key paradigm shifts that allowed me to reprogram my mind to my advantage. With shifts like these, you can take an active role in determining the unfolding of your journey.

Faulty Paradigm #1: You Arrive at Accurate Interpretations by Accepting the Opinions of Others

“Laugh at yourself? Bliss. Take yourself seriously? Suffering.” Unknown

I used to fixate on the validity of my choices. For instance, after graduating from college, people bombarded me with disempowering messages. Authors I liked criticized the state of universities. People I met critiqued and passed judgment about the value of my degree when I’d tell them about what I studied.

Yet I had a transformative, juicy, and nurturing college experience. I learned quite a bit about myself, human nature, history, literature, metaphysics, and how to create and critically engage with texts. Still, these opinions led to my feeling ashamed about my choices.

I now value lived experience over second-hand interpretation. It’s also clear to me that arriving at accurate interpretations about experience is not about accessing some objective truth.

The “right” choice for one person is the “wrong” choice for another. This never stops being true. Humans are by nature subjective creators. When we compare our choices with others, we forget nuance.

The truth is this: accurate interpretations are useful interpretations. Perceptions are frames. That’s all. You and I will never stop encountering interpretations that bring us down. There will always be frames that make us feel like we made the wrong decisions. Yet we have the ability to choose the frames that are most conducive to getting what we desire.

Life is a game to optimize. We’re probably living in a simulation. The past is over. And being alive is a bizarre and unlikely opportunity.

Every day, you can choose to consume information that brings you to your knees. You can opt for perspectives that incentivize nothing but pulling bed sheets over your head.

But it’s always more interesting to choose forward-moving interpretations. I’m going to die one day. You will too. If our being here at all is a mystery, why not embrace that? If we’re conscious, why not celebrate? We can optimize rather than mourn over what could be different.

Faulty Paradigm #2: To Grow, You Must Fight Negativity

“Personalities predicated on self-tyranny are doomed to fail.” Jordan Peterson

The conventional belief is that escaping negativity is about going to war with it. You’re told to “remove toxic people” from your life. People talk of “fighting” disease. When I was young, my mom told me to put a rubber band on my wrist and snap it whenever I’d have a negative thought.

This is ineffective. It reaffirms the self-denying, fear-based tendencies that inspire worrying to begin with. Every time you fight yourself, you’re weaker for the effort.

Similarly, people who practice meditation suggest treating negative thoughts with granular attention. This way your negativity becomes a meaningless, raw sensation.

This is a better idea, but it still misses the mark. Intense emotion is often what drives our making decisions that dramatically improve our well-being.

Instead, I’ve learned to focus on addition rather than subtraction. Our internal conversations determine our results. Instead of removing so-called toxicity, you can add more of what you want.

If you’re nervous before an important phone call, for instance, don’t fight or push away your anxieties. Instead, focus on imagining all the reasons it could go well. When those negative beliefs arise, don’t resist. Just pivot.

Focus on the fact that positive events are within your range, even if they feel unlikely. By adding thoughts about welcome possibilities, you enter a new space. Excitement gradually displaces your tension.

Here’s a relevant parallel — If you want to change your diet, don’t vow to forever renounce sugar. Instead, just add three vegetable or fruit smoothies per day. Create a foundation of health rather than a battle with your desires.

Over time the smoothies will displace sugar cravings. It’s a gradual approach, yes. But giving yourself freedom unhooks you from suffering. It’s your discontent that led to you to seek out what was never serving you. Don’t add to it by fighting yourself.

Something similar happens with interpretations. Disempowering beliefs run deep. When you fight negativity, it feels futile. Fighting it makes it stronger.

However, when you invite positive imaginings, you’ll saturate your mind with better feelings. Those positive feelings will gain traction and become more accessible over time.

Faulty Paradigm #3: Disagreements Demand Correction

“Action is its own authority.” Unknown

When I began subconscious mind reprogramming, seeing other people watch television bothered me.

People get programmed by direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical advertising and the like. I was having such positive results with my subconscious mind audios and affirmations. I felt the need to tell people when they were being unintentional.

A quote attributed to writer Neville Goddard changed my mind — everyone is you pushed out. When you see other people acting in bothersome ways, it’s a reflection of your own level of evolution.

By critiquing other people’s choices in programming, I was adding more suffering to the world. On some level, I thought that I was helping. But there were elements of judgment inspiring my behavior. I was projecting my own self doubt.

People attract information that synergizes with who they’re being in the moment. The alchemy between their current position and what draws their attention may be critical to their personal evolution. Who am I to interfere?

It’s better to lead through behavior. When we’re around people who are truly at peace, our consciousness raises on its own. Instead of attempting to convince or move other people, it’s better to allow their journey to unfold as it will.

When people feel accepted, they’re more likely to gravitate toward empowering information on their own. No pushing required.

Cultivating awareness around the paradigms that dominate your thinking will alter your self concept. It’s going to expand the scope of your experience.

It’s the difference between being aware of thoughts as they arise and pass away and thinking without knowing you’re thinking.

Paradigms grow as we grow. A liberating paradigm today will probably feel confining 10 years from now. The key isn’t so much to hold onto every paradigm that feels good but to commit to lifelong reflection.

Notice the results your paradigms generate. Make adjustments as you go. The only way to stagnate is to refuse to look.

“Personal empowerment is about de-conditioning yourself from the programs of society and putting your own values and programs in their place.” Terence McKenna


Created by

Caty Lee

Helping readers find authentic forms of motivation using NLP, subconscious mind modalities, and the tools of holistic health.







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