How To Make a Transformational Choice To Change Your Life Forever.
To do that, start by changing your limiting belief.
“If you’re still alive and in your right senses, you are still destined to win greatly in life.” ― Edmond Mbiaka
The problem is you’re working with your limiting belief.
If you’re not where you want to be in your career or, for that matter in your life, never let yourself believe change is impossible.
We all have our limiting belief and the narrative we tell ourselves of who we are and what we want to be starts with the story we tell ourselves.
I can’t achieve X so there’s no need trying.
I can’t overcome this problem so I have to live with it.
These are examples of narratives of limiting belief we tell ourselves.
Understand that limiting beliefs are simply half-developed ideas about reality. Because the limiting belief you tell yourself isn’t real they are just what you think is real.
Start with a story
“Most of us have only one story to tell. I don’t mean that only one thing happens to us in our lives: there are countless events, which we turn into countless stories. But there’s only one that matters, only one finally worth telling.” ― Julian Barnes
We all have a story. Be it a good one or a bad one. It’s the story we tell ourselves that goes on to form the narratives we form in our head. And like it or not, it’s these stories that determine if we are able to win in life or not.
The stories you tell yourself isn’t the problem. It’s turning those stories into limiting belief that creates the problem for you.
And what makes limiting belief sticks is this:
It’s not just that we can’t stop thinking of something as true, Its that we go out of our own way to see it as true or make it true. And then it just feels inevitable writes
Understand that your narrative forms your beliefs. And there’s nothing more powerful than a belief.
This is because once you hold a belief, it becomes the operating system for your reality.
Do these to change and win in life.
The first step
The first step to changing your life is to first know the kind of story you tell yourself.
If you call yourself a failure, you need to change the story. If all you do is see the bad in yourself, you need to change it and start seeing the good.
T Harv Eker put it best when he said “It’s what’s under the ground that creates what’s above the ground. It’s what’s invisible that creates the visible. If you want to change the fruits, you will have to change the roots.
Changing the story you tell yourself might not be easy at first as you might be uncomfortable. But what you need to know is that discomfort is always the first cue of transformation.
Once you learn to change the story you tell yourself, changing every other part of your life becomes easy.
The more self-affirming language you’re able to use for yourself, the better it is you can make sense of your story and of the world around you.
Change your circumstances by changing your attitude.
The greatest discovery of my generation is the fact that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. — William James
Each of us sees the world through a particular lens that colours and shapes our perceptions. That lens is your attitude.
We humans like to imagine that we have an objective knowledge of the world. But this is an illusion because no two people see or experience the world in the same way.
The world simply exists as it is — things or events are not good or bad, right or wrong, ugly or beautiful. It is we with our particular perspectives who add colour to or subtract it from things and people.
Your attitude not only colours your perceptions. But also, how it actively determines what happens to you in life, health, relationship with people, and your success.
And our attitude has a self-fulfilling dynamic because it can either help us move forward or sabotage our life further depending on how you use it.
The Law of self-sabotage
Each of us has a particular way of looking at the world, of interpreting events and the actions of people around us. This is our attitude, and it determines much of what happens to us in life.
If our attitude is essentially fearful, we see the negative in every circumstance. We stop ourselves from taking chances. We blame others for mistakes and fail to learn from them. If we feel hostile or suspicious, we make others feel such emotions in our presence.
We sabotage our career and relationships by unconsciously creating the circumstances we fear the most.
The human attitude, however, is malleable. By making our attitude more positive, open, and tolerant of other people, we can spark a different dynamic — we can learn from adversity, create opportunities out of nothing, and draw people to us. We must explore the limits of our willpower and how far it can take us. Robert Greene.
Through our attitude and our mindset, we can make people respond to us in a friendly or unfriendly manner, depending on our anxiety or openness. We can shape much of the reality that we perceive, dictated by our moods and emotions.
When we feel generous toward others, they feel drawn to us and want to match our spirit. When we feel generous toward ourselves, we no longer feel the need to bow and scrape and play the game of false humility while secretly resenting our lack of success. We are able to give things a try irrespective of the outcome.
But in the end, it all boils down to you first changing your limiting belief.
This is why the same external events or circumstances affect no two people alike; even with perfectly similar surroundings every one lives in a world of his own. . . . The world in which a man lives shapes itself chiefly by the way in which he looks at it, and so it proves different to different men; to one it is barren, dull, and superficial; to another rich, interesting, and full of meaning. On hearing of the interesting events which have happened in the course of a man’s experience, many people will wish that similar things had happened in their lives too, completely forgetting that they should be envious rather of the mental aptitude which lent those events the significance they possess when he describes them. — Arthur Schopenhauer
Learn from those ahead of you
“There’s nothing new under the sun.” The saying holds pretty much true.
Irrespective of whatever you may be going through, know that you aren’t the first person it happening to. If you know this, the rest is easy.
How you may ask?
It’s all in the books I tell you.
Books/literature are the painful lessons humans have learnt over time through trial and error.
If you are lost with life, go and read books.
If you want to learn a skill, go and read books.
If you want to understand life better, go and read books.
If you want to learn how to rare worms, go and read books.
If you want to stop being miserable, go and read books.
You will be amazed as to how drastically your life can change when you take out time to read good books.
Don’t read books to entertain yourself, read books to improve yourself first. Once you do that you can entertain yourself later since the goal is to change your life.
Understand that every time you make a commitment to something big especially towards changing your life, you are making a transformational choice.
The information we consume matters just as much as the food we put in our body. It affects our thinking, our behaviour, how we understand our place in the world and how we understand others. Evan Williams.
I had no idea of being a writer. In fact, I hardly read books at all. I was opportune to stumble on Nicolas Cole article on Twitter in 2018, clicked on it, directed me to medium and ever since I’ve never skipped a day reading books.
From reading books, I gave writing a try it worked. At the same time, I started an online business even though it failed. The main thing was that I was able to clear my limiting belief and actually try something for myself.
And see that’s one thing with books, the more you read practical books, the more you want to try things out yourself.
Understand that if you are serious about winning in life, you need to invest in the right kind of knowledge and practically ignore everything the media is constantly throwing at you. Noise is what you’re supposed to ignore, signal is what you need to heed writes Nassim Taleb.
Do these for the long term and you will win.
“You will make better decisions once you begin thinking long-term rather than short-term.” ― Adam Smith
In a world of instant result, instant delivery, and instant food, we have resort to wanting an instant life.
Life result is more about compounding than instantaneous. That’s because, with life, you need to be disciplined.
And self-discipline is a form of freedom. Freedom from laziness and lethargy, freedom from the weakness, freedom from fear and doubts.
Once you’re able to make a tiny change in your life, chances are you will want to try it again and again. Do these for the long term and you will see a massive turn around.
Will it be easy? Absolutely No.
There’s no excuse for ever ending the process of improving writes Ryan Holiday.
In the end, it’s your choice to make. To remain aimless with life or win at life, I hope you pick the latter over the former.