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Why You Should Pull Your Own Weight In A Relationship

Pulling your own weight helps love and romance to flourish in your relationship


Joshua Idegbere

4 months ago | 3 min read


Towards having a more satisfactory and romance-rich love life

Pulling your own weight helps love and romance to flourish in your relationship|PEXEL

The earlier you realize it is to your advantage to pull your own weight in any relationship, the better it is for you.


I can't think of an easier way to lose respect and be seen as a burden like completely depending on someone to pull your weight in a relationship.

Heck, you shouldn't even count on your relations.

I did. And life forced me to realize that nobody owes me any favor other than myself, that relying on other people to pull my weight is a bother to them. Especially if I have to request it.

In your romantic relationships, you will need to keep this to heart:

One of the greatest proof of maturity and of being a person of value is being able to pull your own weight without bothering your partners. Such that your partner only has to support you voluntarily as an encouragement for what you have running in your life.

1. A one-sided relationship is a bad idea

You don't want to lose someone you love so much, do you?

Then you have to realize that love isn't immortal.

Love is like a seedling. So fragile that if you subject it to harsh conditions, it will die a natural death and so goes the relationship.

In my experience, nothing makes people lose interest in a relationship, like when the relationship starts to stress the hell out of them. The worst of these stresses is emotional stress.

And believe me, a one-sided relationship is a huge load of emotional stress that only a handful of people can cope with while still keeping the love and romance in the relationship afloat.

Emotional withdrawal, disinterest in previously fun activities, avoidance of spending time together, and, in some situations, infidelity.

These are what you get when you leave the whole burden and responsibilities of your relationship to your partner.

If you don't pull your own weight, you're ruining your relationship without realizing it.

The other reason is,

2. It is how you ensure respect from your partner

Take it or not, respect is earned by taking responsibility in a relationship.

If you don't pull your own weight in your relationship, you're not giving your partner a reason to see you as someone worthy of respect.

Unless you change, a time will come when your partner overtly disregards your opinions and suggestions concerning important issues in your relationship. And I can assure you, it will not go down well with you in the long run.

Being respected by your partner is important. You may not realize this until you have your partner disrespect you by default.

And because you may retaliate to your partner’s disrespect, it can cause terrible disaster in your relationship that may eventually lead to break-up or a dysfunctional romantic relationship.

And truth be said, you're to blame for not pulling your own weight. If you had pulled your weights, the chances of your partner's disrespect would be dramatically lower.

So, take responsibility for yourself and your role in your relationship. It is how you earn and sustain respect from your partner.


3. Pulling your own weight helps love and romance to flourish in your relationship

A dry relationship.

That's what you get when you stress your partner out by allowing all the burden of the relationship to rest on your partner's shoulders.

Check the records. Stress is a major killer of romance and other manifesting of love and affection.

When people are stressed, all they care about is how to relieve themselves of the inconvenience brought about by that stress. For that reason, their whole mental energy is shunted towards survival with little left for romance.

You don't expect a breathtaking French kiss from someone who's overwhelmed with settling your exorbitant bills almost every time, do you? In fact, that alone can impair their libido.

But you need all those breathtaking French kisses, optimal libido, undivided attention from your partner, and all the romantic gestures to enjoy your relationship. If there are deficient, what remains is a dry relationship where everything is mechanical.

To really enjoy your relationship

… try as much as you can to pull your own weight. A relationship is no child's play. It comes with a lot of responsibilities.

Leaving it all on the shoulders of your partner will eventually suck out the love and romance out of your love life till the relationship eventually fail.

If that's not what you want, starting today, decide to pull your own weight and follow through with it.



Created by

Joshua Idegbere


I am Joshua Idegbere and this is my column. Stories with actionable tips to help you make the most of your life, career and relationships. Welcome!







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