So you had sex with the guy, and now you want to keep him to yourself. But somehow, you think you don’t have what it takes to make him yours.
It sucks, right?
I get that. I used to be that girl who thought she wasn’t good enough for any decent man.
I would look at my girlfriends with their cute boyfriends, painting the streets with their fierce love and passion, and think, “oh, I could never match up!”
I didn’t have guys turning heads for me at seventeen. And the ones who paid attention to me were interested in just sex — no love, no romance.
I wanted the fairytale love story we see in movies. I thought every girl was supposed to be attractive, so when I didn’t get what my friends had, it affected my self-esteem.
As I became robust and curved, I noticed a similar pattern of fuck guys sticking out their tongues when I walked past them.
I entertained their attention for a while until I fell in love with a decent guy. We were love birds, and I gave myself to him with no regrets.
We were both young, but he was reserved and more focused than I was. As we got more committed to the relationship, I got bored. I wanted to explore every side of my sexuality.
After a few months, we broke up, and I turned my attention to the streets guys. I’ve had my fair share of love, lust, and betrayal.
From my experience, keeping a man is easier than most women think.
I tried getting men as a desperate and insecure woman, but those relations ended poorly. This is one mistake most women make when they are looking for a ‘forever’ kind of man.
If you really want to leave a lasting impact on a man after your first night of intimate sex, I recommend you follow the guides in this article.
Is one sex enough to know he’s right for you?
So many people think once a man has sex with a woman, she gives up her power, and he begins to lose interest.
Others think one night of passion is all it takes to fall in love with a person. Both are actually true.
Sex stimulates hormones responsible for our love emotions. Science has explained the mystery behind why we often fall in love with one-night stands.
The same study proves that 30 different parts of a woman’s brain are activated during orgasm.
These chemicals released in the brain are responsible for emotions, joy, satisfaction, hunger, thirst, tiredness, and memory.
When these chemicals are released in excess, women are more likely to let their guard down and fall in love with a man after sex.
Also, one of the key hormones released during sex responsible for our feelings is oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, which lowers our defenses and makes us trust people more.
So you see, it’s possible for a woman to fall in love with a guy and desire to make him hers after one sex because our brain is structured to feel safe and loved by a sexual partner.
But the brain reacts differently with men during sex. When men orgasm, the main chemical released is dopamine, the pleasure hormone.
Men do not feel that emotional attachment as women do after sex because the hormones released only make them feel good, and this explains why men are most likely to be addicted to sex.
However, aside from the chemical enablers that boost emotional connection, there are things women can do that will make a man want to see her again and again after one sex.
1. Be affectionate
Many people after having sex start behaving awkwardly as if the intimate act drove a giant wedge between them.
Now instead of being warm and affectionate, they are cold and neurotic.
You see them worry about their hair, how their breath smells. They scrabble for the clothes, trying to hide their naked body from the man they just slept with.
But if you are calm and happy, you will cuddle him, kiss him, and have a playful vibe with him. This increases his affection towards you.
Men do know a woman’s affection works magic on them every time, so some will immediately want to leave after sex.
Your first line of action is to delay instant gratification after sex. Let him ravel in the pleasure after he ejaculates, play with his body parts to keep him entertained, so he doesn’t skedaddle like frightened children.
2. Send a killer text some minutes later
Most people think it’s dehumanizing to send a message to a one-night stand. Well, that’s not true if you are a woman with a goal.
Guys like to receive a text out of the blue saying, “Just wanted to let you know I had a lot of fun last night. Hope you have a great day at work,” closed with a kiss emoji.
Guys get flattered when you send such text. It shows feminine vulnerability, which leaves men defenseless and feeling obligated to make you happy again.
You do not want to act too vulnerable or too close to him to a point it seems you expect the relationship to have moved ten steps forward after one sex. And don’t act too casual as if the sex didn’t mean anything.
You want to strike that balance between wanting to see him again and not be bothered if you don’t. But the last thing you should do is feel regrets or make excuses for sleeping with him.
3. Don’t accept cheesy follow-up
I know this is where most women get excited and tear down all their defense.
Here is the thing, when you get a call or text from the guy requesting you come over, it shows he’s in it for the sex and nothing more.
This does not make him a bad guy. He’s just following a script from his dopamine-filled brain. But it also shows he wants to have sex with you again, an advantage you can use since you want more.
Now instead of cutting him off or running over to his place, reply by telling him, “You would love to see him again, but you would like to know more about him. What about dinner first? You do know of a great place that will satiate his appetite.”
The beauty of this message is that it shows you want to see him again, but it resets the expectation. It takes away the entitlement the guy has in the relationship.
You want to set the tone of the relationship, so he knows you want more than a physical connection.
And if he agrees to a date, don’t talk about anything serious, especially relationships. That will make him jump ship before you even establish one.
Maintain casual conversation while also touching on things that allow him to get to know you.
If you let him take control of the conversation, he won’t think you’re super desperate to be with him.
I have used these tricks more often than I can remember to know it works.
The important thing about using this guide is to build an emotional connection with genuine affection.
That means you should be yourself and not have a fake attitude to attract the guy.
Men can smell a fake from miles away. If you notice he isn’t interested in building a serious relationship with you, let him go.
He’s not the only fish in the river, and you will be doing yourself a favor by detaching from someone who doesn’t see your worth.
My purpose for this article isn’t to make women desperate but to give them an option to go for who they want and not let men take the lead every time.
Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach, and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.